How to be the #1 Interview candidate -The negative beginning

This series of ideas is devoted to making you the #1 interview candidate. I’m basing it on my many years of experience working with Physician Leaders and Healthcare Executives.

When you don’t have experience to match the question, resist the temptation to be completely honest! “No I don’t…” may sound honest but it also signals deficiency. Instead try to answer with possibility: “When I think of that issue three things come to mind, …… , …… , and ……” Then for each word you said: “My experience with …… allows me to ..….”. This gives the listener something positive to listen to and more importantly allows the listener to understand how you think about things. This is what they really want after all. Now of course some will listen and say, “So you have no direct experience with …...” Then of course you can fess up but keep that positive also: “You are correct but what I’ve learned from situations previously is that experience is born when we first think of how to do old things in a new way.” Never, ever, never (did I already say never!?) give one-word answers. The interviewers want to hear not only ‘the’ answer; they want to hear who you are. But remember my tip of words and wordiness – keep it to under two minutes! What do you think?

How to be the #1 interview candidate - words and wordiness

The worst thing the hiring manager can tell you after an interview is that you were great, but you were #2. This series of ideas is devoted to making you the #1. I’m basing it on my many years of experience working with Physician Leaders and Healthcare Executives.

The tendency when we are anxious is to talk and talk and talk, perhaps desperately hoping to throw enough out there so some of it will stick. One author, Mary Doria Russell, wrote that those who go on and on should join the support group, On-And-On-Anon! Keep your answers between 90-120 seconds. It will focus you and allow for more questions. Shorter answers that are a complete answer to the question shows the interviewer that you can do this at work, in an email, or a voice mail. We don’t want the interviewers walking out thinking or saying, “That candidate wouldn’t shut up!” (and yes, that is what they say!) The remedy? Practice out loud in a recorded Zoom call with yourself…then listen with a timer. Then try it again, and again, and again. Don’t memorize, simply have a number of different ways to answer the question. Coaches live by this W.A.I.T. (Why Am I Talking?) Interviewees might take the same advice after two minutes.

So…I’m interested, what’s been your experience?

Some advice about giving advice!

Have you ever had some great advice for someone? They listened intently. But then came the infamous, “Yes…but…” Change rarely happens until we are ready; ready in our own way and on our own terms. Ill-timed advice is, well, ill-timed! Instead, here is a plan that a professor/psychiatrist friend of mine uses for every single client. He recognized that everyone who enters his office can be categorized into one of three groups: shopper, complainer, and customer. Shoppers have questions and he answers them; they are looking to see if there is alignment, trust, and possibility. Complainers want him to listen, but they don’t want to change too much. They are surrounded by discouragement, misery and want the world (or at least anyone who will listen) to know about it. For them, my friend simply listens and empathizes. However, the people that go into his office who are CUSTOMERS, are the ones that are there to change and are ready to go. So off they go! Consider holding off with advice until the person is begging you for it! What people need is not how WE would do things but how THEY can!

We're all just thirsty to be heard

“Is it an oasis or a mirage?” is a quote from the movie, The Way Back. Set during World War II, the plot follows the incredible 4,000-mile on foot journey of a few escaped prisoners leaving Siberia, ending up in India. The quote was conflict for them since the ‘oasis’ was going west (or east!) when they needed to continue south. In the end, one brave soul simply started walking and others followed.

Firstly, how do we know? Secondly, how do we REALLY know? For some of us, we want 100% certainty before we take a step, for others 80% is plenty to make a decision with. Still for others, we are very, very happy when someone else makes the decision!  This is the point where courage, bravery as it were, comes in handy. When all eyes are fixed on one thing, what would happen if you moved your eyes to another and openly wondered? “I wonder if….” or “Could it be….” or “I have a hunch I’d like your thoughts on…” or “What would happen if…” The conflicts and arguments are often about one thing with eyes fixed to see what they want to see. The leader in you - indeed, the brave in you - can muster a discussion, a conversation, instead of a heated argument with lasting mini resentments. After all we are not in the desert, just thirsty to be heard.

There aren't two sides to this issue, probably ten!

Nido Qubein, President of High Point University, taught me the value of distinction. He posed a question that asked would we want to be successful or significant, creative or innovative, focus on a ‘to do’ list or a ‘to be’ list, perhaps even understand the difference between training and education. I studied with him for over a decade (and about a decade ago!) and I still remember this pairing of words and concepts to help clarify intention, goals, and a deeper understanding of the human spirit. To enhance the presence you bring to others consider being the pairing person. “Is he angry or fearful?” or “Is she hopeless or discouraged?” or “Is this an angry or a very frustrated person?” The wisdom I learned from Nido was not about binary thinking but about seeing the other side. One of my clients said last week, “There aren’t two sides to this issue, probably ten!” And I remembered another Nido-ism: the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Consider being the word crafter at your meetings, help others count on you to both broaden and focus the discussion.

The secret of a successful interview

Remember your last interview for a job? Despite a really fine resume and plenty (did I say plenty?) of experience, the interviewers seemed difficult and hard to impress. After all, you’ve done a lot!

When I prepare physicians for their interviews (some tell me that they have never had to interview for a position in their lives!) I suggest that they speak to their capabilities, not only to their experiences. So, an “experience” answer might sound like this, “Yes, I have worked to construct 12 ambulatory units for my system.” That is nice but interviewers know that their system is different! Internally they are thinking, “Yes, she may have built them there, but we have different issues here.” A better answer would be, “Yes, I have worked to construct 12 ambulatory units for my system…and what I learned when I did that was the executive capability not only of consensus building but of a community feeling among the team to unify our efforts and each persons’ unique capability.” This answer will lead to a deeper question, which will enhance your expertise as being like them, their culture, their unique situation. The inner voice then of the interviewer is, “She has what we need…she could solve our problem.” Never end the answer with what you did; always with what you learned.

The Zoom meeting engagement game

Ever get bored on a Zoom meeting when the presenter engages with only one person at a time? The next time you lead a Zoom meeting and want more interaction, ask the class to finish each of their contributions to the conversation with someone’s name, followed by a question mark. For example, “I think this has to be done within two weeks or we may miss an important window of opportunity…Roberta?” Now it is Roberta’s turn! She may say, “I’m not so sure this is as critical as we are making out…Jack?” This will allow you as the presenter to get more ideas, keep people engaged, and when you want to stop the ‘game’ simply say at the beginning of someone’s response, “We’ll take one more…Jack go ahead.”

The skill of encouragement

Have you ever tried to praise your child or your employee and it seemed to flop on delivery? “You are great…smart…perfect...!” Yet you received the response, “Oh no I’m not. That's kind of you to say, but…”

If you tell me I am smart but I don’t think I am, I will mentally cancel you out. If you compare me favorably to others but I know they are more capable, I cancel you out. And if you do it publicly, I REALLY cancel you out, either because I am embarrassed or because I am silently thinking, “It’s about time you noticed me, dude!”

However, what if you commented on my progress, effort, or even our relationship? “I noticed the work you put into this report and it really shows.” Or “I appreciated when you spoke up at the Board meeting to set the record straight. It took courage and it paid off for our team.” Or “I noticed your touch on the patient’s back and how his entire face relaxed when you did so.”

This is called the Skill of Encouragement which begins with “I”, then some form of appreciation or a personal noticing. It is always delivered as only your appreciation for what you noticed with a bit of wonderment attached. The receiver may or may not take it and that is their choice. My experience with the skill however, is that it is “sticky”…it persists in the person's memory.

Have the courage to be imperfect

Ever met an ‘opinionated person’? If I asked you to join me for lunch some day with a colleague of mine with this caveat, “Oh, and just as a heads-up, he is pretty opinionated.” Would your inner response be, “Wow, can’t wait to meet him!” or would your outer response be, “Sounds great but I have another date!”

We all do have opinions and pretty good ones at that! The question is not whether we are right but rather are we being useful. Rudolph Dreikurs, the famous Chicago psychiatrist, advocated having the ‘courage to be imperfect’ as an antidote to our superiority of personal opinion among other things.

One way to enhance your presence at the next meeting, if you can’t help but give your opinion (even when asked), is by first stating a brief (did I say brief?) summary that encompasses the issue using the words of others, especially the words of those 180 degrees different than you. “It seems to me that Dr. Shaw feels the anesthesia group is being systematically excluded from the decisions of the board…and I wonder if this inclusion could begin to be accomplished with an outside facilitator rather than at this meeting right now.” This might be a better response than, “I disagree that we have to do this at this meeting.” Anytime we begin with “I disagree…are you serious…are you kidding me…or even my opinion is…” be very, very careful. Each of those statements activates the amygdala and you will be in for a fight, a flight, or a freeze…not a “We can figure this out together.”

3 loaded letters

How many letters do you have after your name? DO? RN? MD? CPE? MBA? CRNA? MHA? NP? FACHE? Whew, some of you have a lot of them! And they do define a part of us.

A member of a meeting mentioned the following about a physician that was not present, “He’s a really good surgeon, but…” Immediately a nurse spoke up with, “If you have to put a ‘but’ after his name…he’s not that good!” Awkward silence began!

Do you know some terrific people who have those three silent letters, ‘but’… after their name in your mind? True or not, deserved or not, even perfectly descriptive or not, that ‘but’ after their name not only hurts them, it hurts you: how you interact with them, speak about them, and judge them. The old saying that holding a resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die!

Our presence is fully dependent on how we enhance the other’s presence. Consultant Char Wenc advises, “Be present and have presence” and these two words are not always the same. One of my grad students put it a bit differently with the same meaning: “Showing up is not always showing up!” (It sounds better than it reads!) If we add three letters, ‘AND’, after their name then the fullness of the life of the person, despite their flaws, enriches us with full presence.

This week listen to how the word ‘but’ is used with people and ideas at meetings and how disconnective it can be. Or if you’re feeling really brave, see if you spot the possible ‘but’ when listening to a spouse or child wanting to go somewhere…now!

The art of an introduction

How do you think of others?  How do you introduce them?

I notice that physicians are known and introduced by their name and their specialty and…that’s it! It is as if they are a “noun” defined by a name and a thing…their specialty. Of course, depending on the specialty this can come with a raft of judgments! Surgeon? We all know what they are like, right? Hospice? They are so nice! But what if we help this definition-by-noun/title with a metaphorical verb/adverb after their name and specialty. “Dr. Hicks is our neurosurgeon and also a Boston marathoner and she is certainly that too in the OR and at the bedside…she never gives up. 

Dr. Ana McKee at The Joint Commission holds three C-Suite titles and was once introduced by those titles (her nouns) with the following, “And she has met seven Supreme Court Justices (her husband is a Federal Judge) and you’d never know it unless you ask by the way she treats everyone not as better or worse but as who we are together.” Doesn’t this round out her identity to you a bit better than only her influential status at The Joint Commission?

Who do you know at your place…and how do you both think about them and introduce them? Enhance their presence and you will enhance yours as well.