The Donkey in the Herd

Donkeys are protectors—loud, unwavering protectors. At the ranch we visit, there’s a small donkey standing among a herd of large horses. Horses can be skittish; donkeys are determined. Any predator would think twice before testing that donkey, the honking voice alone could scare the life out of you!

A doctor friend of mine raises lambs and has four very large dogs living right among the herd. Same idea: not ones to mess with.

So, let me ask you, who on your team is the protector? Who guards your people? Your budget? Who steps up and gets in the face of anyone who thinks they can tinker with your team?

Is it you?

Share below (no names needed!) and tell us who the protector is on your team and what they do.

Do You Have a Trusted Colleague?

Do you have a trusted colleague, someone you can reach out to when you need to think out loud? Not to complain, but to share what’s really going on and get a wise, thoughtful perspective. In this short video, I talk about why having that kind of person in your life matters more than we often realize, and how those conversations can make all the difference on both the good days and the hard ones.

Vulnerability is a Teacher to Us All

Hope may not be a strategy, but it is the dominant reason we all come to our healthcare providers. Yes, we have specific complaints yet lingering underneath is that hope that it can be overcome. We hope the physician has a solution. We hope that the nurse will console us. We hope. Some will call it a prayer. Others may use their breathing techniques. Some will openly ask ‘the question’ on their minds and others quietly wondering if they should risk the answer. When I visit patients at the hospital in a kind of chaplain-like capacity, I find myself being more and more aware of the hope they long for with each person entering the room. I see it in their eyes even if not in their words. Vulnerability is a teacher to us all. Hope is OK. It makes us aware of our need for what others can provide for us in our time of need.

Strengthen Your Career with Effective Presentations

Most professionals can present information. Far fewer can present in a way that truly helps executives make better decisions.

In my article, “Strengthen Your Career with Effective Presentations,” I explore why executive presence matters and how improving the way we communicate, especially at the senior level, can directly influence trust, recognition, and career growth.

Thank you to ASIS International for featuring this piece in their Security Management Magazine. I invite you to read the full article here:

Is coaching right for you—or your clients?

I’m looking forward to presenting at the upcoming NASAP: North American Society of Adlerian Psychology Annual Conference on Friday, May 29th in Minneapolis alongside Pascale Brady for a dynamic session:

Live Coaching: A Demo and an Interview to Help You Determine if Coaching is for YOU!

In this interactive session, we’ll offer a live coaching demonstration followed by an engaging, “Larry King–style” interview that explores:

• What professional coaching really is

• How coaching differs from therapy, mentoring, and consulting

• How Adlerian principles like encouragement, purpose, equality, and social interest come alive in the coaching process

If you’re curious about coaching as a personal or professional pathway, I’d be glad for you to join us.

Don’t Let Someone Hand You Their Bowling Ball

When others come to you for help, be mindful of the invisible 8‑ or 16‑pound bowling ball they may be handing you, asking you to carry and solve their problem.

How do you avoid it?

Use the word “you” when referring to the problem:

• “What do you think you should do about this?”

• “What’s your thinking on how to approach it?”

• “When you leave my office today, what do you think should be your first step?”

Don’t become part of their problem at home or at work. Become part of helping them move toward their solution. You can encourage their effort (what counselors do), ask thoughtful questions (what coaches do), or help them feel heard (what supportive people do).

They have their problems. You have plenty of your own. Don’t let them walk away with one less problem by leaving it in your lap.

Navigating the Shift from Peer to Leader

Leading a team of your former peers requires fewer yeses—and a lot more no’s—than before. A friend who was recently promoted put it perfectly:

“I went from we and us to them and they overnight.”

Yes, a promotion may bring recognition, status, and compensation—but it also brings a different kind of responsibility. As Spider-Man reminds us, “With great power comes great responsibility.” That responsibility often shows up in unexpected ways: how we socialize, who we confide in, what we promise, how freely we offer opinions, and the kind of advice we give.

Once promoted, we are peers no more. And while expectations from those who promoted us are high, they are often exceeded by the expectations of those we now lead.

• What do they want?

• What do they need?

• Who do you need to be for them?

Do you know someone who’s made this transition well? What did they do differently when leading their former peers? Share your experiences—let’s talk about it below.

What do you know that I don’t know, that I should know?

A friend once shared a story about a Chief Medical Officer who made a simple but powerful change.

Every Thursday afternoon, he gathered his nurses and asked one question:
“What do you know that I don’t know, that I should know?”

At first, the nurses were skeptical.
Is this a trick question?
Is it safe to be honest?

But over time, the answers started coming...abundantly.
And the CMO later said he learned more on those Thursday afternoons than in any other meeting he attended.

That question is a powerful reminder for all of us.

When we’re speaking, presenting, or sitting in front of a board, people aren’t looking for rehearsed perfection. They’re looking for your take, your perspective, your insight, what you see that others might miss.

Your point of view is valuable.

If they didn’t believe you had something they didn’t already know, they wouldn’t have asked you to speak.

This short video is a reminder to bring that mindset into every conversation.
Watch and let me know: What do you know that others should know, but maybe haven’t asked you yet?

From Routine to Purpose

Is this truly your routine, or is it rooted in a deeper value? Why do you do what you do each day?

It’s easy to fall into routines on autopilot. Over time, we continue them with little awareness. Instead, we can pause and reconnect with the larger purpose behind them: how it benefits us and others, and why it matters. Bringing our routines back into conscious awareness helps us rediscover their meaning and renew our commitment to them.

Working With a Boss Who’s Not Your Age

It’s becoming increasingly common to have a boss who’s decades older or younger than you. Generational stereotypes aside, that gap can create a sense of separation. This video looks at how to bridge that space—not by trying to change your boss or compare yourself to them, but by using your own intentional interpersonal skills to understand how they think, how they work, and how you can collaborate more effectively. It’s about getting in sync, knowing where to go when you’re stuck, and showing up as a colleague they can count on.

A Better Way to Begin Your Meetings

“One small step…” is the now famous quote from our first time on the moon. It can also be a great way to begin a meeting, especially when times are tense. Here is the quote that works for me: “Since our last meeting what have you noticed that’s been better or different.” Allow some silence and then take each person’s contribution. You can use “What was the small step that got us there?” Open a meeting with “How’s everyone doing?” and you will likely open a hornets’ nest of issues. But ‘better or different’ and recognizing ‘small steps’ of movement will likely put those at the meeting on the path to solutions or at least “We are on track…”

Consult Your Avatar

Some moments in our work lives feel almost effortless. You’re presenting, contributing, leading and something in you clicks. You’re calm. Clear. Effective. It feels like a wiser, more grounded version of you has stepped forward.

In a recent meeting, an executive described this as “consulting her Avatar.”
For me, it’s the inner expert—the part of you that knows what to do when you stop overthinking and let your practiced wisdom lead.

The key is not treating those moments as lucky accidents. They’re signals. They’re patterns. And they can be repeated.

As you watch this short video, consider:

• When has your avatar—your inner expert—shown up strongly?

• What were you doing that allowed it to emerge?

• And how might you call on it in the moments that matter?

Watch the full video and reflect on your own avatar.

Introduce People, Not Just Positions

Go beyond name and noun. When you introduce a colleague, say the name and the role, of course, but add the personal and that humanizes them. This is Sal — he’s part of our IT department — and what I’ve noticed about him with clients (often me!) is that he goes beyond being an IT pro: he’s an educator. He doesn’t just solve my problem; he helps me understand it. He doesn’t just fix the issue, he fixes me!

Circle Time

Many professionals step into leadership roles without ever being taught how to lead a team.

Doctors, nurses, lawyers, accountants, people who spent years mastering their craft, are suddenly expected to run meetings, present to executives, and guide teams effectively. But those skills aren’t always part of professional school.

One place this gap shows up quickly is in meetings. Leaders often think the agenda is the most important part of a meeting. Participants often feel the check-in is the most important part.

In this short video, I share a simple idea: bring back something we all learned in nursery school: circle time. Taking a few minutes for check-ins can calm the chaos, help people feel seen, and set the tone for a more productive meeting.

Watch the clip to see how you can incorporate check-ins into your own meetings.

How do you currently open your meetings to get your team focused and engaged?

In Honor of St. Patrick's Day

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, or as I prefer to call it, ST. PATRICK’S MONTH, I came across some Celtic wedding vows that really moved me. The French are often seen as the romantic ones, but wait: nothing tops this.

To my husband: May you never steal, lie, or cheat, but if you must steal, then steal away my sorrow. And if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life. And if you must cheat, then please cheat death, because I couldn't live a day without you.

To my wife:  I vow you the first cut of my meat, the first sip of my wine. From this day, I shall only cry out your name in the night and smile into your eyes each morning. I shall be a shield for your back as you are for mine.

Ah, the Irish — known for their romantic ways!

Me, Myself and I

Recently I was listening to a homily where the priest offered a simple truth: our everyday trinity often becomes me, myself, and I. That message made me think about how many times we center ourselves in a meeting or presentation instead of the people we're trying to help.

When we intentionally ground our work in shared values, both personal and organizational, we clarify what matters most for our audience and become more useful to others.

The video below explains how to get back to the trinity that actually serves our teams. What would change if your next message focused more on others and less on I, myself and me?

The Pyramid

There is a Japanese therapist who has a three-sided pyramid in his office. One side says, ‘those bad people’ the second side says, ‘poor me’ and the third side says, “so what am I going to do about this’? When you come for therapy, he hands you the pyramid and says, “So what should we talk about today?”

Team Getting Behind You

In my latest video I share a story about a physician‑CEO who used a simple ritual to turn stuck moments into momentum. Every Thursday his direct reports send a 100‑word problem brief, and Monday is reserved for focused problem‑solving—no status updates, just help. Admitting you’re in the ditch is hard; this gives people permission to say, “I need a push,” and lets the team literally get behind you and move you forward.

The Quiet Work of Coming Back

Are you a Lindsey Vonn? I was trying to wrap my head around the way she must process pain. And I wondered how she processed who her body once was and isn’t’ so much now. I wondered how you do it. This might be a good way to have a conversation not about our medial ills and issues, but better about our ‘head space’…how do you recover from disappointments, failures, firings, and not quite being who you used to be? Weigh in below please.

Dessert First

What if you started your presentations the way you start a great meal—dessert first? When you lead with the part your audience cares about most, everything that follows brings more clarity, energy, and purpose.

In this short video, I share how this simple shift can transform your impact and the way people listen from the moment you start talking.