The First Rule of Handling Conflict That Almost Nobody Follows

What if the biggest workplace conflicts could be resolved with one simple step that almost nobody takes?

I once worked with a team that was struggling with the question: "How do we handle conflict with one another?" Instead of avoiding the issue, they dedicated a half-day seminar to tackling it head-on. Together, we created six simple standards for navigating conflict more effectively.

The very first standard? Go directly to the person you have a conflict with. Not your manager. Not your coworkers. The person involved. And then do something even more powerful: send them a follow-up email thanking them for the conversation.

Sounds simple, right? Yet almost nobody does it.

In this short video, I'll share why this first standard can transform relationships, build trust, and help you do what others won't. Watch the short video to learn more.

Master the Interview...Not Just For the Job

We are constantly being interviewed. Those first few moments of an interaction are especially vital. We are sizing each other up. Consciously and unconsciously, we are deciding how this interaction might go. We are looking for some kind of connection, whether it's with a fast-food clerk, a hotel clerk, or my boss's boss.

I have lost count of the number of times I've asked someone what they do and been met with the answer, "Sales." Full stop.

How do I respond to that?

At one extreme, they could launch into a long-winded elevator speech that rings of "me, myself, and I" (for me, the equivalent of projectile vomiting). At the other, they could do what one elevator companion once did with me and begin with a question:

"You know those plastic clamshell containers they use in grocery stores and restaurants for takeout? That's what I sell... and has that industry changed! How about you?"

Nice. Now we have the start of a conversation.

A friend told me that air marshals, when asked what they do, want to avoid conversations at all costs so they can stay alert. Their answer?

"I sell life insurance."

Not particularly wrong (!) but definitely a conversation killer.

So, what do you do? Who do you do it for? And what's new in your world? A one-word answer rarely creates a connection. A thoughtful answer, one that invites curiosity and conversation, often does.

Why Listening Is a Leadership Superpower

We often think change happens because of a new directive, a polished mission statement, or yet another lengthy email. But real change doesn't work that way.

Research and experience continue to show that people are more likely to change when they feel heard. When someone listens, helps us focus on what matters, and works with us as a partner, we become open to new perspectives and possibilities.

In this video, I discuss why change isn't driven by logic, but by connection, listening, and partnership.

🎥 Watch the video and rethink what it takes to inspire change.

Executive Presence is Often Misunderstood

Executive presence is often misunderstood. It's not about titles, credentials, or the letters after your name. It's about how you make people feel and the impact you have in every interaction.

In this short video, I share why true executive presence comes from listening, elevating others, and learning from leaders around you. No matter your age, tenure, or position, you have the opportunity to be a catalyst for positive change and be recognized as someone who leads with influence and purpose.

🎥 Watch the video to discover how you can develop executive presence by focusing on others and increasing your impact.

Small Things That Encourage

"You taught me something today."
"I learned an important lesson from you today."
"I was impressed when you said ______."
"I noticed ______ about you today."
"Thank you for modeling ______ for me today."
These are small things that encourage.

I was lost arriving at LAX recently, assuming it would be the same airport I remembered from five years ago. Not so much. I asked a transportation aide, who was pushing a wheelchair passenger, how to get to baggage claim. "Follow us," she said.

As we wove through elevators, corridors, and a few long stretches, we engaged in light conversation. As we approached the destination, I turned to her and pressed a $20 into her hand and said, “You taught me something today about not only giving directions but taking the time to lead the way. Thank you.”

She tried to return it, but I would have none of that. The three of us parted ways, and I resolved to be more like her.

We probably don’t always need ‘feedback’ that threatens or corrects as much as we need to know how we may have helped someone grow.

Be Present and Have a Presence

Starting a new role, whether you're early in your career or bringing years of experience, is an opportunity to shape how others see you. Curiosity, thoughtful questions, and active participation can help you establish credibility and build connections from day one.

In this short video, I share practical advice on how to make a strong impression, contribute with confidence, and take control of your professional brand in a new organization.

🎥 Watch the video to learn how small, intentional actions can make a lasting impact.

Curiosity Before Judgment

We've all been there. Someone at work rubs us the wrong way. Maybe it's a colleague, a team member, or even our boss.

When that happens, it's easy to turn inward—to feel resentment, disengage, or even start polishing our resume. But what if there was a different approach?

What if, instead of focusing on why we don't connect with someone, we became genuinely curious about them? Where did they learn their values? What experiences shaped their perspective? What are they trying to accomplish?

Alfred Adler famously encouraged us to "see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and feel with their heart." When we do that, understanding begins to replace assumptions, and relationships have a chance to grow.

In this short video, I share why curiosity is often the first step toward stronger professional relationships and better leadership.

Watch the full video to learn how being genuinely interested in others can transform the way you connect, communicate, and collaborate.

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

Dr. Hans H. Moosa, MD, handed me his business card many years ago. On the front was a picture of Spider-Man; on the back, his contact information.

As he gave it to me, he said, "Kevin, with great power comes great responsibility."

I still have that card, and I carry it with me every day. It's a great reminder of him and the message he lived by.

If you were designing a new business card today, what would you put on it that someone would want to keep for years?

Hierarchy or Contribution?

Many organizations are built vertically: one person at the top and many others below. But what if we thought differently?

Drawing inspiration from the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), where every role is critical—from doctors and nurses to support staff and cleaners—success becomes a true team effort. In environments like these, value isn't determined by hierarchy, but by contribution.

This perspective challenges us to rethink how we work together. When we focus more on the impact each person brings, we create stronger collaboration, greater trust, and a deeper sense of shared purpose.

Watch this short video to explore how shifting from hierarchy to contribution can transform teamwork, engagement, and organizational success. What would change if everyone felt equally important to the mission?

You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be helpful.

One of my favorite Chief Medical Officers held a 3-hour meeting every Monday with his direct reports. He asked each person to bring just a 100-word summary of where they were stuck and what help they needed.

He compared leadership to a car stuck in a ditch:

It doesn't matter how the car got there. One person can drive, but it takes 3 or 4 people behind it to help push it out and get it moving again. I thought that was a genius way to run a meeting.

🎥 In this short video, I share why the best leaders are the kind of people that get behind that car and give it a push. 

The CEO Nobody Knows

I was recently in a hospital where a new CEO had just been appointed. I asked a nurse manager what she thought of the new leader.

"Don't know. She's MIA. Mostly in her office. Wasn't even at the volunteer luncheon. She must have better things to do."

It made me wonder: how does that feedback ever reach the CEO?

How does someone communicate the importance of rounding, getting out of the office, meeting people, and becoming a familiar face throughout the organization?

Then again, maybe she's operating under a different mandate from those who hired her: stabilize the finances, improve margins, address a union initiative, make difficult staffing decisions. Those priorities can certainly keep a leader behind a desk.

Or perhaps those goals are best accomplished by building relationships with the people on the front lines.

When you lead a team, how much of your week is spent in your office, and how much is spent with the people who can help strengthen the culture, stabilize performance, and advance the mission?

The role of a leader isn't just to be visible. It's to be known.

Engagement Beats Performance

Years ago, when I was teaching actors at Columbia College, Nora Dunn (SNL) sat with my students on the floor and shared an important lesson:

"Your job is not to please the audience. Your job is to engage the audience. In the engagement is where they will be pleased."

The same is true in leadership. We engage people by focusing outward: showing up early, shaking hands, asking questions, learning what matters to others, and genuinely caring about their experience. That's where connection happens.

🎥 In this short video, I share why engagement is one of the keys to being a successful leader.

What Makes Work Culture Change

I heard long ago that confidence doesn't mean "I'm perfect", it means "I'm attempting to be effective, that I'm pretty sure I can help out in this situation."

In this short video, I share how you can redefine confidence to help build community within your team. For example, a good question is many times better than a good answer and can help build community.

If you are a leader seeking to build stronger teams, better conversations, and a culture where everyone feels empowered, this video is worth the watch.

Let's Talk About That

When an opinion comes my way, I can choose to say the words, “Let’s talk about that.” Especially when I am confronted with an opinion I disagree with, or when I just fell into a meeting with a highly vocal, opinionated person… and there are many!

A way to respectfully re-route the conversation may be something like, “I like the word _____ you used. Would you like my take on that?”

Many will talk on and on and on without a seeming glimmer of engaging others. (The author of the book The Sparrow wrote that those who go on and on and on ought to join the support group, On and On Anon!)

One of my colleagues, on long, boring drives that can easily make him sleepy, tunes into talk radio stations he disagrees with. He awakens from his slumber… he just doesn’t have anyone to talk to about it!

How do you redirect a conversation when it starts to feel one‑sided?

#CommunicationSkills #ActiveListening #Leadership #Conversations #EmotionalIntelligence

See one. Do one. Teach one.

We hear this a lot in medicine, but it also applies to leadership.

If you want to truly learn something, teach it. In this short video, I share a simple way to accelerate your growth by leaning into that mindset.

Take a minute to watch the video below:

Signature Stories

Want presentations with your staff to be engaging, even when the content feels dry? In this video, you’ll discover how to bring natural, authentic humor into your meetings without forcing jokes or trying to be a comedian. Learn why the best humor often come from your audience, how small moments can turn into connection, and how personal stories can change the way people engage with you.

If you’ve ever wondered how to loosen up a room, create true interaction, and make your message stick, this is for you.

Watch the video to see how to turn everyday moments into memorable, engaging presentations.

Special Voices

Steve Cathan, formerly of CBS Radio, was recently interviewed about his many years on air. For those of us in Chicago, his voice was a familiar part of daily life, delivering the news at the top of the hour on our local station.

Listening to him reflect on his career, especially in light of the end of CBS Radio, made me realize how much I had taken that steady, distinctive voice for granted over the years.

I’ll miss hearing him.

Are there any voices in your life that have left a lasting impression?

Facts inform. Stories move people.

We talk a lot about the importance of communication, but what truly makes a message stick?

With the passing of Jesse Jackson, I found myself reflecting on a moment shared by one of his collaborators I went to school with, Father Michael Pfleger, who stood alongside him in the fight for justice.

A reporter once asked him a simple question about his time in jail for social activism. His answer wasn’t what you'd expect.

🎥 Take a look at this short video. I share what he said and how it relates to importance of storytelling.

The Essence of an Effective Story

We’ve all heard that storytelling matters in leadership. But here’s what most people get wrong…

They choose stories that are interesting to them, but not to the audience.

I see it all the time. Leaders default to sports analogies because they enjoy them… while half the room is quietly disengaging.

Great storytelling is about being relatable and the most effective stories tend to be the simplest ones about real people.

In this short video, I discuss how you can find the essence of an effective story.

When Opposites Aren’t Opposed

Two things can be true at the same time, even when they seem like opposites. I once heard this from a policy expert when a reporter was trying to pin him down on a political issue. How much of our lives are framed as “this or that,” “either/or,” “yes or no,” or “right and wrong”? These polar opposites may not need to be so rigid. Perhaps two things can exist together. Maybe we can talk with our neighbors without falling into a “me versus them” mindset. Perhaps we can both exist together—not in spite of holding different beliefs, but simply because we can.

What about you—are there two things that can be true at the same time, even though at first blush they seem to be opposites? Alfred Adler suggested that opposites don’t attract—complementaries do. It’s similar to folding your hands together: each finger may appear opposite, yet it complements the others, creating strength.