Let me share some snippets of my expertise with you. I hope you find them useful and if you would like to chat more, just…
Your first mentor—have you reached out lately?
Do they know the impact they had on you?
A teacher, a leader—you know who I’m talking about.
Give them a call.
In my work, I help team members build productive relationships with leaders who may be significantly older or younger than they are. Not through outdated “generational” stereotypes, but through practical, proven human relationship skills.
Leadership isn’t about doing it all, and it’s definitely not about getting everything perfect.
It’s about being effective where it really counts…through people.
In this short video, I discuss the shift clinicians should make to build and lead an effective team using real human skills.
I primarily teach physician leaders what they may not have learned in medical school—leadership, team dynamics, and executive presence.
When I meet them, I usually start by asking about their specialty and how they chose that path. When I meet a pediatrician, I ask a question I already know the answer to: “Is it true that children are not just little adults?”
With a 100% response rate, they all say yes, and then they go on to explain why, sharing stories about their patients, their families, and their experiences. Sometimes, they’ll even point out that the “patient” is actually the parent.
I do the same with nurses, whether active or retired: “Is it true that once a nurse, always a nurse?” The stories flow immediately.
I recently spoke with travel insurance underwriters. While I’m no expert in their field, all I had to ask was: “Did you go to school to become an underwriter?” Most of them laughed, and the stories began.
Be curious. Stay curious. Even when you think you know the answer, you don’t know the story.
That mindset is at the heart of my work. I teach physician and nurse leaders the things medical training often overlooks: executive presence, communicating with senior leaders, and leading teams made up of their former peers.
“Your gut is your second brain.” — Ellen Muellenberg, JD
At a recent gathering of Medical Staff Specialists (the often unheralded professionals who help safeguard patients from unqualified physicians), Ellen urged us to listen to that inner voice. Call it intuition, an inner expert, or simply a “hunch”...that quiet signal that something deserves a closer look.
How many troubling headlines might have been avoided if someone, perhaps you, had raised a hand and spoken up? If they had voiced that feeling of discomfort, that moment of doubt, that instinct that something wasn’t quite right?
Too often, nervousness, peer pressure, fear, or shyness silence this critical part of us, to the detriment of others…and sometimes, to tomorrow’s headlines.
I teach and coach emerging leaders to lead creatively, challenge the status quo, and move beyond the “same old, same old.”
In this short video, I reflect on comparison, purpose, and the quiet impact we often overlook, like the adjunct professor who shapes lives without tenure. We all carry hopes that may never materialize, and others that surprise us. Both truths can coexist. Let’s honor the mission that’s uniquely ours.
End your contribution with a period. When we are unsure or hesitant or nervous it is possible that we will end on the uptick, with a question mark. Consider the difference. How do each of these sentences land with you, “So I think that maybe we should think about a collaboration with them?” or “I recommend that we take the time to discuss a collaboration with them.” Let your audience feel your expertise, your take on it, your recommendation. Period.
I teach team members how to productively interact with leaders who are significantly older or younger than they, not the typical ‘generational’ stereotyping method but one built on the skills of successful human relations.
Right? Have you heard this lately? Many of us reactively finish our sentences with “right”? Maybe we like to be agreed with! I wonder how these things come about. Years ago the word was ‘awesome’ that seemed to be used for any experience, relationship, or meeting….right? When you are presenting this can become a repeated word that the audience hears, and you don’t. This is the value of taping your presentations, so you can hear what they are hearing. And what may be driving them to distraction, distracted from your core message. If you do that it would really be awesome! Right?
I teach team members how to productively interact with leaders who are significantly older or younger than they, not the typical ‘generational’ stereotyping method but one built on the skills of successful human relationships.
Ever walk past an exhibit table where the only thing moving is a scrolling phone screen?
I have. More times than I can count. And every time, I think the same thing: what a missed opportunity.
In this video, I share a simple shift that can change how people experience you at an event. How to be present, make the first move, know how to introduce yourself in a way that’s clear and memorable.
👇 Watch the video and let me know: what’s one small change you’ve made that made a big difference?
A lot has been said about the “why” these days. Simon Sinek’s famous presentation and book, "Begin with Why", has received many mentions, and rightly so. It has been a great help to many of us and has made me think about the why’s cousins: what and who.
Maybe start with who. Who is your boss, customer, partner, or spouse? Who are they really? As Humphrey Bogart says to Ilsa in Casablanca while in Paris, “Who are you really? And where were you before? What did you do and what did you think?” She coyly demurs, and he concludes with the famous line, “Here’s looking at you, kid.”
That’s the movies, but how about you and your boss? Do you know where she came from? Where she really came from? Not just her last company, but her story. Do you know what medical school was like for her? Or what growing up on a farm was like? Or what moment brought her here?
In my experience, regardless of who this person is now before me, a few genuine questions can reveal a great deal, especially if you feel they are distant, not so nice, demanding, etc.
One surgeon said, “Our family is Asian. Success and perfection mean everything to us. I find it hard to lead a team without being like my parents. Excuses never existed in my family.”
Who do you need to know better?
And then comes the what. What is important to them? What does their boss want from them? What pressures are they under? What do I need to know that I don’t know, but should know?
I teach physician leaders what they were not taught in medical school: executive presence, presenting to executives, and leading teams of their former peers.
I am in the company of many of my peers who are “Gonna write a book someday when I get a chance.”
Are you ‘gonna’ clean your garage or basement someday when you get a chance?
I was a ‘gonna’ and still am plenty of times.
So, I was giving this some thought and would appreciate your take on it too.
I wonder if ‘gonna’ translates into ‘could’…if I wanted to. In essence an excuse to not try, to possibly fail, to fall and not get up. I can, then, tell myself that I’m OK, perhaps superior, and certainly have all the good motives I know I have.
Like our kids who don’t do their homework: “I could do it, I just don’t want to.” And therefore, like me and a few others we are never put to the test hiding behind our ‘gonna.’
I teach physician leaders what they did not teach in medical school: executive presence, presenting to executives, and leading teams of their former peers.
Your mysterious boss.
Distant? Cold? Calculating? Much older? Much younger?
What is going on here?
The only real way to understand this very important person in your work life is to actually engage with them. Most leaders won’t ignore a direct, sincere ask like:
“I’m looking for some mentoring; do you have time on your schedule?”
Go in with an aspiration you’re working toward or a challenge you’re navigating. Then gently explore how they got to where they are, not in an obvious or intrusive way, but in a way that connects to your conversation. There’s always a story inside them. I wonder what it is.
I teach team members how to productively interact with leaders who are significantly older or younger than they are, not the typical ‘generational’ stereotyping method but one built on the skills of successful human relations.
In an airport elevator, I asked a pilot my usual travel‑day question: “Headed somewhere glamorous?”
He laughed and said, “Des Moines.”
I asked how long he’d been flying, and then whether he still liked it. He paused.
“I like flying. I don’t like everything that surrounds it. But when I’m in the cockpit, that is still fun.”
I hear the same thing from my physician and nurse clients. They genuinely like their specialty. They like taking care of us. That’s not what burns them out. It’s everything around the work like the pressure, the systems, the noise.
How about you? What surrounds your passion?
Because if we’re not careful, that is what wears us down.
I teach professionals how to minimize the risk of burnout and maximize the rewarding part of their work: doctors, nurses, pharmacists, attorney—professionals promoted to lead teams of their former peers.
There are so many wonderful and different names these days. When I come across a name I don’t recognize, I often ask, “Tell me about your name.” What follows is usually a rich discussion of family history, culture, meaning, and symbolism.
Carnegie famously said that the most important word to anyone is their name. And within a name there is often a family elder, respect for an important someone, a mother’s hope, or even a nod to a 70s or 80s television character.
One nurse once said, “My name is Jenny, just like the millions who watched that show back then!” Even so-called “ordinary” names are worth exploring. One “John” told me he had no idea where his name came from, but he said he was going to ask his mother that night.
I teach team members how to productively interact with leaders who are significantly older or younger than they are, not the typical ‘generational’ stereotyping method but one built on the skills of successful human relations.
Do you smile? I mean, do you intentionally smile? Not a constant, silly smile, just an outward expression of connection.
Think about your favorite fast-food place. Do you look at the menu first as you order with a common “Gimme a _____,” and then look at the server or cashier? What if, as you walked up, your first intention was eye contact, then a greeting, then the menu…followed again by eye contact and a thank you?
And even more so at work, especially if you work in a busy people, people, people place. Rather than looking down at your phone, what if you decided intentionally to be a bright, connective spot in someone’s day?
After service on a plane, I always intentionally go to the galley and make eye contact with the flight attendant, smile, and engage with pretty much the same words every time: “Thank you for your service today,” followed by, “How long have you been doing this?”
What comes next is the fun and informative part. Every story is different…and few people will initiate or truly listen. It’s memorable for both.
Work in a hospital? Coming to and from your health club? Now, I’m not recommending this everywhere! There are times, such as on a subway or bus, for example, when people prefer an anonymous seat. But in those places where we pass those we know, work near, or order a meal from…look up. Eye contact. Smile. A greeting.
I teach physician leaders what they did not learn in medical school: executive presence, presenting to executives, and leading teams of their former peers.
“Life is the cruelest of teachers: it tests us first and then teaches us the lesson.” The ultimate early school exercise of show and tell! When I first read this, I agreed—but then I had another thought…
“Life is the kindest of teachers…here is the test, now let’s learn…another test is around the corner…and then we will learn some more.”
What if your meetings were like that?
Instead of starting with input, spreadsheets, or documents…what if you began with a demo, a question (not just a hypothetical one), or anything that could replicate show and tell?
Let’s say you are teaching good patient service. Have the participants see it, brainstorm it, or talk in small groups about what good—and not so good—patient service looks like. Let them see it, participate in it, and have time to talk about it. Then comes the training, the education, the skill-building.
If we don’t feel it, it’s likely to pass from one ear to the other. Ditch the PowerPoint lecture and engage the group in the doing first.
Donkeys are protectors—loud, unwavering protectors. At the ranch we visit, there’s a small donkey standing among a herd of large horses. Horses can be skittish; donkeys are determined. Any predator would think twice before testing that donkey, the honking voice alone could scare the life out of you!
A doctor friend of mine raises lambs and has four very large dogs living right among the herd. Same idea: not ones to mess with.
So, let me ask you, who on your team is the protector? Who guards your people? Your budget? Who steps up and gets in the face of anyone who thinks they can tinker with your team?
Is it you?
Share below (no names needed!) and tell us who the protector is on your team and what they do.
Do you have a trusted colleague, someone you can reach out to when you need to think out loud? Not to complain, but to share what’s really going on and get a wise, thoughtful perspective. In this short video, I talk about why having that kind of person in your life matters more than we often realize, and how those conversations can make all the difference on both the good days and the hard ones.
Hope may not be a strategy, but it is the dominant reason we all come to our healthcare providers. Yes, we have specific complaints yet lingering underneath is that hope that it can be overcome. We hope the physician has a solution. We hope that the nurse will console us. We hope. Some will call it a prayer. Others may use their breathing techniques. Some will openly ask ‘the question’ on their minds and others quietly wondering if they should risk the answer. When I visit patients at the hospital in a kind of chaplain-like capacity, I find myself being more and more aware of the hope they long for with each person entering the room. I see it in their eyes even if not in their words. Vulnerability is a teacher to us all. Hope is OK. It makes us aware of our need for what others can provide for us in our time of need.
Most professionals can present information. Far fewer can present in a way that truly helps executives make better decisions.
In my article, “Strengthen Your Career with Effective Presentations,” I explore why executive presence matters and how improving the way we communicate, especially at the senior level, can directly influence trust, recognition, and career growth.
Thank you to ASIS International for featuring this piece in their Security Management Magazine. I invite you to read the full article here:
I’m looking forward to presenting at the upcoming NASAP: North American Society of Adlerian Psychology Annual Conference on Friday, May 29th in Minneapolis alongside Pascale Brady for a dynamic session:
Live Coaching: A Demo and an Interview to Help You Determine if Coaching is for YOU!
In this interactive session, we’ll offer a live coaching demonstration followed by an engaging, “Larry King–style” interview that explores:
What professional coaching really is
How coaching differs from therapy, mentoring, and consulting
How Adlerian principles like encouragement, purpose, equality, and social interest come alive in the coaching process
If you’re curious about coaching as a personal or professional pathway, I’d be glad for you to join us.
