Have you ever had some great advice for someone? They listened intently. But then came the infamous, “Yes…but…” Change rarely happens until we are ready; ready in our own way and on our own terms. Ill-timed advice is, well, ill-timed! Instead, here is a plan that a professor/psychiatrist friend of mine uses for every single client. He recognized that everyone who enters his office can be categorized into one of three groups: shopper, complainer, and customer. Shoppers have questions and he answers them; they are looking to see if there is alignment, trust, and possibility. Complainers want him to listen, but they don’t want to change too much. They are surrounded by discouragement, misery and want the world (or at least anyone who will listen) to know about it. For them, my friend simply listens and empathizes. However, the people that go into his office who are CUSTOMERS, are the ones that are there to change and are ready to go. So off they go! Consider holding off with advice until the person is begging you for it! What people need is not how WE would do things but how THEY can!