Asking vs telling

At the American College of Healthcare Executives meeting in Chicago last year, I had great fun teaching presentation skills to graduate students in healthcare. Imagine yourself giving a spontaneous three-minute presentation in front of 300 fellow comrades who were most happy it was you and not them! What would you do?

Well, this time it was a bit different. From three possibilities the ‘selected one’ was able to choose a topic and as they were ready to speak, we asked the audience what they wanted to hear about regarding the topic. "Who else was involved?" "When did it happen?" "What effect did it have on you?" "Can you describe the scene so we can ‘see’ it?" As the audience gave their suggestions, it was fun to see they eyes of the presenter light up with what seemed like, “Oh yes, I can do that, that too, and that too!”

So often we forget to ask the audience thinking, only thinking of what we want to present. Do you have a difficult audience or a ‘Dr. Evil’ in the group? …ask them for sure! When they see that you want to involve them, you will have life-long friends or at least friends for a long as you are speaking!

Even if you have only a few minutes, greet people as they enter and ask a simple question: “What would you most like to learn today?” By golly you could even get them into groups of three immediately and ask the same question! Then ask them not what they said, but what they learned from the other two. My hunch is that whatever you prepared is going to be presented anyway. With their comments lingering in your mind however, you’ll have a friendly audience, an involved audience, and you can even quote them throughout your talk! Always ask even when you ‘think’ you know the answer!

To understand a person, you must see with his eyes, hear with his ears, and feel with his heart

Alfred Adler (1870-1937) one of the earliest pioneers of modern psychology wrote: “to understand a person, you must see with his eyes, hear with his ears, and feel with his heart.”

As we “present,” we want the other to have an open mind; we wish to establish credibility with this other person; and we hope to engage them in response—perhaps with a “yes” or perhaps with a question—often with applause! (We just have to be careful that the applause is not our first priority!) In order to enjoy the ambience of a one-to-one conversation, we need to first access the “inner listener” of the other… who is this person?

On the now classic television series “Star Trek,” a science fiction story about travelers in space seeking out new life and exploring where no one has gone before, the explorers were on a planet with a labyrinth of mines. As they explored, the crew and the miners were being harassed by a huge, deadly, and moving stone-like being. This eyeless, marking-free “thing” that looked like a huge boulder was ravaging the miner community. This monster could cut through solid rock at a moment’s notice. Miners were being killed; seemingly nothing could stop the carnage. The monstrous boulder seemed impervious to all weapons.

One of the crewmembers noticed there were also “little” boulders scattered all around the area, and they were moving! Finally, one of the crew, the half-human, half-Vulcan Dr. Spock, decided the huge mass needed to be addressed. He used an ancient Vulcan method, the Vulcan Mind-Meld. In it, he laid his hands on the huge stone, and then with great emotional and physical pain, energy transferred from the living boulder to Dr. Spock’s awareness. Spock understood that this strange, deadly creature had been pregnant! Like all moms, she was concerned for her “little ones” (who were being harvested by the miners!). Once understood, all came to terms. The miners realized she and her little ones could cut more tunnels faster and better than they could; the crew discovered a brand new being; and mom was happy to be understood and had her little ones in tow! Empathy existed even in outer space . . . one-to-one.

The best presenters do the same thing, one hopes with less pain!

Paraphrase-Summarize-Empathize

Paraphrase-Summarize-Empathize are the platinum standards for the leader who teaches and facilitates the learning of those who need their problem to get on the right track to a solution.

- When we paraphrase, we are seeking to understand the other.
- When we summarize, we are working with the other to focus more clearly.
- And when we empathize, we are recognizing that even the most technical information has an emotional element to us and to the other.

This next week perhaps be aware of those around you who employ these more important but often neglected skills. How did they do it? What was it like for you when they used these skills with you?

The true meaning of value

Have you ever sat in the audience of a presenter who asked questions, seemingly to help the audience understand? Soon it became clear that what mattered was that the audience was supposed to give only the “right” answers. This form of teaching is common in traditional university classrooms and many professional schools. It encourages conformity, promotes discouragement, and often heightens a fear of embarrassment even among fellow professionals. As the audience offers up ideas, you can spot the presenter using this style because they keep saying, “Not quite . . . no . . . pretty close. I guess no one knows this!” What becomes clear is that value is defined by what the presenter sees as valuable, not the audience’s experience or feedback. I was in a pharmaceutical ad board with a noted content expert. Ad boards are used by the pharma industry to solicit ideas and reactions from physicians who are deemed Key Opinion Leaders (KOLs). The best ad board are lively interchanges. This one was a noted expert for sure. The audience was non-verbally responsive. At one point a physician asked a question. The presenter took a step forward with eye contact and said, “What you meant to ask me was…” From that moment on not one question from highly educated physicians. Everyone mentally (and nonverbally) became a scolded second grader!

Every person in your audience and on your team wants only one thing: to have his or her problem solved. Even the most loving, caring, other- focused person wants exactly the same thing that the most selfish, narcissistic, obnoxious person on your team wants: the problem solved. This is the true meaning of value. We often hear the term “value proposition” in business today as if we know what will fulfill our customers. What we propose to them is to seek their “yes.” What if, however, we had a “value conversation” with them instead. What if we listened? What if we asked? What if we saw value as they saw it: Can you help me?

Think about your next office conversation. Do you (or your colleague) focus on the other person or do you simply engage in a mutual monologue? Listen closely next time. Does your conversational partner talk about you or about him- or herself? How about you? Who is your focus?

Ideas for you, as a learner

Meditation, whether religiously inspired or not, almost always begins with an awareness of our breathing. In and out, slower, more consciousness, more settled. When I was first introduced to this by my students, it seemed so novel to me. I was used to diving right in, unaware of my breath, unaware of how I felt at this moment, unaware my eyes were wide open when they needed a bit of eyes shut to then enter the journey of discovery.

Similarly when we teach or lead a program, even when we attend a workshop, self-reflection can be a big help regardless of who the audience is or how skilled the presenter is. Self-reflection can help us locate not only the objectives of the presenter, but the more important the ones of our own making. Why did I sign up for this workshop? What do I really want to leave with that will help my next step? Who is here that I can learn from? And perhaps most importantly (regardless of the talent of the presenter), what am I going to do to make this an important time for me?

Certainly, it is the responsibility and the calling of the presenter to do their very best to teach with engagement regardless of the size of the audience. (Yes, you CAN actively engage with hundreds of people in an audience…if you self-reflect on what they need, not only on what you will say or show on your PowerPoint.) It is also up to the learner to engage as well. Yet, when we are confronted with a nervous instructor and mounds of PowerPoint slides we can tend to wander our mind with judgment, silent advice, even resentment. And that, our own inner experience, can affect our learning just as much as any awful presentation.

So here are a few ideas for when you are in a meeting or lecture hall:

1. Be the first to raise your hand, to make an encouraging comment or with curiosity to ask a question supportive of what you and others may need. Be the first one, right away. I am constantly amazed how smart, educated, important professions fall silent at the exactly the time they need to chime in.

2. Consider what you need from this learning experience and selfishly as well as selflessly go after it. This does not mean you have to challenge the presenter, only put in front of them the challenge that you feel. Tell a short story, preface your question or comment, focus closely so that it pertains not only to you but to those others like you.

3. Accept your very next opportunity to be the presenter. Of course, this can cause some nerves. This will get better with practice. Then remind yourself that you are not nervous…you are excited to present and to engage. As Whitehead advised, so that they know more and can do more.

What will your presentation do to help the audience take that next right step?

When presenting, why do we overdose on PowerPoint, stand away from the audience, speak quickly, act anxiously, or even read every single word from a written document?

Is it fear born from excessive perfectionism, or an inflated thought that every single slide and word is of vital importance…all the while forgetting that our audience will likely forget much of the detail. What audiences do remember is the experience. They will remember, fondly or not, what that time with you was like. Did you disperse wisdom or data, understanding or slides, expertise or…more data? Audiences come to us in Kindergarten, University, or professional meetings for probably only one thing: they want to emerge better able to solve their problem, to improve their condition, to truly know and to do more.

Our task then is not to build a PowerPoint deck as our security blanket but rather to really think about this audience as different in some way from the last one. Really consider what will help this particular audience, this particular class, this one person. How can your interaction help them to take that next right step?

This next week, as you present in any situation, consider first not the content, but rather the consumer of the content. They have a problem. What will your presentation do to help them take that next right step?

Your job is not to please the audience; your job is to engage the audience

My dental hygienist was telling me about her goal to finish her degree and enter a graduate program. I asked how it was going. “Well, I was going to enroll in one class…but I heard from other students that it was all lecture. All lecture doesn’t work for me.”

Does “all lecture” work for you…as the learner? How many times have all of us sat in a classroom, workshop, even a “lecture hall” (!) only to emerge wondering if we would ever get that hour back again in our life. Yet it continues to be the coin of the realm at professional meetings, classrooms, and even ‘motivational’ programs that we actually pay for!

The American philosopher, Alfred North Whitehead, cautioned that education ought to help us know more and do more… “this intimate union of theory and practice aids both” he concluded. That was years ago and yet for many professionals, the lecture, to know more, overshadows the do more, again and again.

When Nora Dunn of the early Saturday Night Live show attended one of my classes at Columbia College Chicago she advised our acting students, “Your job is not to please the audience; your job is to engage the audience” and then she added that it is in the engagement that we are pleased. Many teaching Kindergarten through University know very well how important it is to stop the lecture only method…our students don’t tolerate it very well…and they tell us so!

But at our professional meetings, how many times do you really get to meet those at your table? Or those at the next table? Or on Zoom how many emails are you able to get through when the lecture begins?

So I invite you to reflect on your experience of learning. Are you like my dental hygienist? Or are you like the tens of thousands this week who will sit and listen and then hear the common statement, “Looks like we don’t have time for Q&A.” Make this a key consideration next time you are the one doing the teaching!

How to Present Like a Pro - Presenting to a blind person

When presenting to an audience where some of the members are blind, use audio description techniques. In this situation it is useful to begin with a brief visual description of you… “I’m Kevin, your presenter today. I’m sitting with a green plant behind my right shoulder and behind my left shoulder is a picture of sailboats as well as the artwork of my 6-year-old grandson. I have grey hair that my stylist calls ‘platinum’…which is why I keep going back to him!”  This sets the scene for them. For each PowerPoint slide, I begin by describing that also, “This slide is divided into four squares, in the first square…” One way to understand the impact is to find a movie with “audio description” where a narrator fills in the action with words in between the dialog. This will help you get ideas that you can then use. For virtual presentations, most blind audience members are able to use the chat function easily with their adaptive software.

How to Present Like a Pro - The ATEM-mini

Keep your PowerPoint to a minimum, if at all. Do you really need it? Is it essential? Does it have to be that fancy? Would a word do instead? Or an image? When we present live, we have the PowerPoint as an added resource to the audience also seeing us in full view. On Zoom and other platforms, we are often reduced to a postage stamp image unless the audience knows how to make us bigger. I learned from Brian Walter to use an ATEM-mini which is a device that allows me to move seamlessly back and forth between my video and my slides. I don’t have to share the screen, I am never a postage stamp image, and it allows me to pick and choose my slides, which is helpful when I realize in the moment that they are out of order!

How to Present Like a Pro - Chat Box Waterfall

Initial interaction is easy if you make it so. If you are in person, it is easy to meet and greet ahead of your presentation. On Zoom you have faces just staring at you, not to mention babies, dogs, cats…or sometimes only the ceiling fan.

A “Chat Box Waterfall” is a great way to get everyone on record, to get them contributing. I learned it from Caelan Huntress and it works every time. Ask a simple question then say the following: “I’d like you to go to the chat box and I’ll give you 60 seconds to type your answer to this question but don’t hit enter until I tell you to…” There is always one who hits enter straight away (of course!) but when at the 60 second mark you say “Hit enter!” you will see a ‘waterfall’ of contributions come in. Then all you have to do is say, “Let’s take a moment and review these” and then as the host you find someone’s entry and ask “Bob, can you tell us about yours? Then when you are finished call on the next person” After a few of these you can say, “Jane tell us about yours and then send it back to me.” This is a guaranteed involvement technique that will forever end the agonizing silence accompanying, “Anyone have any ideas?”

How to Present Like a Pro - When it's all over

How do you handle comments after your presentation? When people come up and thank you, consider saying: “I appreciate you saying that. What did you like/notice/appreciate the most?” That will quickly get to the essentials of what they are taking away, which commonly is less about what you said and more about what they got. This is terrific feedback for us!

Also, whenever you finish any presentation, however short, ask yourself: “What did I do well and what is one thing I might consider doing a bit differently next time?” We can only build on our strengths so don’t be the hardest judge of all.

How to Present Like a Pro - 3 key questions

The audience has a key question on their mind: “Can you help me solve my problem?” Followed closely by “Can you improve my condition?” And of course, the ever-popular silent audience question, “So what?” These are rarely spoken out loud, but they are front and center within the minds of those staring at you. Make sure your presentation clearly answers these questions and you’re on to a winner!

How to Present Like a Pro - The rugby move

In rugby the ball is tossed backwards as the player moves forward. Keep this in mind and get your audience interacting with each other not just with you. In an earlier post I mentioned the ‘@Lester Holt technique’ where his correspondents send the story back to him by using his name with a question mark after it. That is a rugby move. Another might be you, as the presenter, saying: “Jack give us your thoughts then you can send it to Amy and she will send it to Sharita.” Before Sharita begins, you say: “After Sharita we’ll go to Sam, Agim, and finally to Lilibet.” This allows some preparation for a quieter, more reserved audience. Pulling names out of hat works too!

How to Present Like a Pro - Script the smiles

Always have someone else introduce you with the script you have written for them. On Zoom make it short and sweet…in person a little longer is OK. Audiences do not need to know the companies you have worked for, how much other audiences loved you, or how much this audience will love you. Yikes! Have the script say who you are, a bit about your qualifications, and then something personal that adds a bit of fun. Mine says that “Kevin’s lifelong goal is to ride horses bareback though he has not yet found a horse with the same goal.” You ought to see the smiles and hear the questions I get on that one! We want a smiling audience when we begin, not a bored one.

How to Present Like a Pro - Elegant Simplicity

Keep it simple! Even, actually ESPECIALLY, when the material is exceedingly complex. Never ‘dumb things down’ but always go for ‘elegant simplicity.’ The goal here is to get to the heart of the matter and to create a memory of its essential elements. Often using complicated or unreadable spreadsheets and wiz-bang graphics can hide our essential message.

Dale Carnegie advises “Tell them what you are going to tell them, then tell them, then tell them what you told them.” Every speech, update, homily, sermon, even wedding toast or eulogy would do well to use this formula.

Making it look complicated does not make you look smart. Your one and only job is to help the audience leave with the essentials of the topic, not to be impressed by you. Work for clarity. If newspapers are written for the average person, so too can any of our technical or scientific presentations, especially if to a tech audience. Don’t mimic your professors, go beyond them. Think of the famous quotations you are reminded of from Dr. Mardy Grothe or Bartlett’s…they are wisdom packed into few words that the many can understand.

How to Present Like a Pro - The camera, the camera, the camera!

Every time you present or respond (or simply want to look alive!) on Zoom, look at the camera rather than the image of the person, especially if you are using two monitors. This is crucial to connection. Imagine if the news people on television looked away from the camera to give their report! This is a very, very difficult skill but a vital one. We are naturally drawn to images, to people, to the face. On Zoom, unlike in person, we are not speaking to an audience or a group, we are speaking to only one person…the one looking at us. As an audience member respond by doing the same and watch your connection…connect!

How to Present Like a Pro - The ‘Lester Holt technique’

I have to thank Lester Holt from NBC evening news for this one. Lester’s gang uses it regularly and every time, I am reminded how useful it can be for us. Whenever Miguel Almaguer, Hallie Jackson, Andrea Mitchell, Richard Engel (who is usually far, far away!) and all the others finish their report, it always ends with “Lester?” He then has his cue and picks it up from there. You can do this with your Zoom presentations, asking the audience to do the same…simply choose another attendee’s name and add a question mark to keep the discussion rolling.

I watched a video recently of ten or so professionals having a discussion where rather than using hand offs, they used resounding periods. Almost every time someone finished speaking, there was an awkward moment of silence as they wondered who would speak next.

You can use this same tactic when you are presenting with a partner. I work twice yearly with professional speaker Conor Cuneen, IrishmanSpeaks in a back-and-forth format of lecturettes. Conor is known far and wide as a well-rehearsed presenter…except when he works with me! We both like to present ‘in the moment’, especially for this audience, so use the ‘Lester Holt technique’ and hear our dear names called out with a question mark at the end, keeping the flow going. It works every single time even when I have no idea what Conor was going to say…and maybe he didn’t either!

How to Present Like a Pro - 7 things not to say or do

Here are some things that you should never ever (ever!) say or do in your presentation because they will be hated or ignored by most audiences:

1)      “You probably want to know a little about ME!” (No, they don’t.)

2)      “Before I begin you have to understand that…”(Just begin already!)

3)      “How are you all doing?” (Thought to be an involver, often experienced as an embarrassment by both sides.)

4)      “Can you hear me OK?” while tapping the microphone. (Audio checks should happen with the sound professional, not the audience.)

5)      “Today we are going to….” followed by a list of objectives usually on PowerPoint that everyone can read faster than you can speak. (Next time just get right to #1 without identifying it as such and conclude with “We just finished our first objective for the day.”)

6)      “I can’t hear you!” as a way to have the audience repeat the speaker’s key phrase. (Do you want everyone to feel like they are back in second grade!?)

7)      “Shhhhhhhh…” attempting to get control back from an audience group exercise. (Try this next time: “If you can hear me, please raise your hand.” As they do others will notice. This usually only needs to be said twice and then a sincere thank you allows you to continue.)

How to Present Like a Pro - Early and Often

Welcome to a series of tips dedicated to helping you to Present Like A Pro. Although we are told by our psychologist and pastoral friends never to ‘judge’ someone, we can’t help but judge people’s presentation skills. We critique the movies and television shows, why not our colleagues?! I am sharing this series of advice to make you just that little bit better in the eyes and ears of those you seek to influence. Regardless of your rank or expertise you can Present Like A Pro every time.

Engage and involve the audience early and often, especially on Zoom. Conor Cuneen, IrishmanSpeaks also asks the audience a question as attendees are entering the Zoom room, before he has even been introduced. One of his favorite questions to ask: “What was the first live concert you went to and how was it?” Simple enough but wait till you see the energy, excitement and connection that happens as you respond to the audience’s answers with questions such as, “Jack, were there a lot of drugs at that concert?” or “Mary, so your father went with you?” This is a better icebreaker than any staged one.

Next time, vary the question: “What was the first wedding you attended, and what do you remember?” or “What’s your favorite city and which one do you hope to go to some day?” or “Which movie would you gladly watch over and over again and why?”

Just like Conor, jump in and talk to your audience even before you are introduced, and prime them for a good time! Just make very sure you are not focusing on only one of your buddies. Nobody likes to hear ‘in jokes’…it reminds them of high school!