I was recently reminded that the right people WILL show up, and they will truly benefit from what you have to offer. Watch this video to learn more...
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Thought Leadership
Even if you are the expert, the teacher, the author, the parent, or the partner, aim to be collaborative rather than authoritative. Yes, we all have our areas of expertise—economists, physicians, historians, and philosophers possess vast knowledge in their fields. But so does the window washer at O’Hare Airport, expertly gliding her tools over expansive windows.
When engaging with others, I strive to ask questions that uncover their unique insights. For instance, “What’s the most exciting discovery in your study of economics (medicine, etc.)?” or “What’s your secret to cleaning windows so efficiently?” (Wrist action and a special formula in the bucket!) Even if I think I know, it's better to let them teach me than to act like a know-it-all.
When you are the expert in the room, avoid acting as if you are. Instead, combine, collaborate, cooperate, and connect with others’ expertise. They may have knowledge beyond our own. As authors learn while writing, “Writing a novel is like driving at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you know there’s a destination you’ll reach sooner or later.”
By fostering a spirit of collaboration, we can enrich our understanding and build stronger connections.
Bob Powers, one of my late professors from what is now Adler University, once advised us aspiring counselors to play the “dumb nut” to encourage deeper thinking in others. Reflecting on this advice many years later, I realize how asking seemingly obvious questions can stimulate thoughtful discussions for both parties. Simple inquiries like, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “I’ve not heard it put that way before, could you elaborate?” are powerful tools.
I recall a flight to Los Angeles where a man told me about his son, who played college football on the East Coast. He said, “My wife and I attend every game so we will be there when he gets hurt!” Surprised, I asked, “You expect him to get hurt?” He explained, “Football is a very violent sport, Kevin.” Knowing little about football, I inquired further, “What position does he play?” When he said, “Quarterback,” I asked, “Is that the one who throws the ball?” He looked at me incredulously and replied, “You have no idea about the game, do you?” I admitted, “Nope!”
He then pulled out his iPhone, and for the next hour, we watched his son’s game as he taught me more about football than I ever knew. It dawned on me later that we weren’t just watching a football game; he was sharing baby pictures of his grown-up son. This experience underscored the value of asking basic questions to unlock deeper connections and understanding.
Nido R. Qubein, President of High Point University is a master of the language that cuts through complexity to clarity. To help us focus he uses word pairing to teach. The difference between training and education for example. Or the difference between success and significance, fortune or fame.
What for you might be two words that have special meaning? Surviving or thriving? Work or career? Managing or leading? Self or other? Funeral or Celebration of this life well lived?
One of my favorites comes from Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs (1897-1972) the famous Chicago psychiatrist. “I listen to the tongue in the shoe not the tongue in the mouth. Feet only point in one direction; words can go anywhere!”
The best word pairings come not from Nido or Dr. Drekurs or from me…but from your own thoughts sometimes leading up to action.
My friend Derek Arden has a saying he uses as he looks into the air or deeply into the Zoom screen with this simple phrase, “That’s quite brilliant, isn’t it?” Whenever he says that I feel a bit smarter! Even when he says it about someone else! Perhaps he is on to something commenting on ‘brilliance’ the illumined light that helps see into the shadows.
Recently I was speaking to a group of physician leaders and I commented on being a “responsive” leader. David Dull came up with a better word, “How about ‘responding’ leader?” His contribution made me think. Responsive describes, responding is an action. Nice! Brilliant, actually! If we look for it perhaps, we too can see it. Quite brilliant, yes?
Sometimes in life we take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. Those 2 steps back are critical for our next step forward as they offer valuable lessons and growth opportunities. Watch this video to learn more and let me know in the comments what lessons you have learned from your steps back?
Taking time at the end of a meeting to reflect on everyone's key takeaways fosters true team learning. Each member will remember different key moments, enriching the collective understanding. Watch this video to learn more...
What are the well-known sayings in your industry that create a bond between you and your colleagues? In the healthcare industry, I've noticed a particularly impactful one. Watch this video to learn more!
Approach every conversation with the mindset that you know nothing, and let your curiosity lead the way. Asking insightful questions not only helps you learn more but also encourages deeper, more meaningful discussions and can uncover valuable insights. Watch this video to learn more!
I recently enjoyed a vacation with my sons, which highlighted the invaluable benefits of genuine face-to-face time. If you're seeking ways to deepen conversations with your partner, children, parents, or friends, I recommend exploring the Proust Questionnaire. It's a fantastic tool for sparking meaningful dialogue. Check out the link in the comments for more details and watch this video to learn how it can transform your interactions.
In a world where opinions seem to dominate every conversation, how about we try something different? Let's be the individuals who prioritize understanding over asserting, who ask the questions rather than rushing to provide the answers. Imagine the impact we could make by choosing to be voices of kindness, seeking to comprehend every perspective. Watch this video to learn more...
Why did you hire me? What a powerful question to ask your boss or your client. Hidden in the answer are the unnamed expectations which we’re often unaware of, but that really tell us what’s important to them. Watch this video to learn more!
Reflecting on the essence of our lives amidst the hustle of business, work, family, and friendships, a profound question emerges: What is the way life should be for you? When was the last time you paused and thought, "Life is good"?
In the relentless pursuit of success and fulfillment, it's essential to carve out moments for introspection, to identify what truly makes life worth living for each of us. These moments of clarity not only refresh our perspective but also anchor us in gratitude and purpose.
Whether it's the joy found in small daily achievements, the peace of early morning solitude, the laughter shared with loved ones, or the satisfaction derived from making a positive impact—these are the experiences that weave the tapestry of a fulfilling life. Watch this video to see what one of mine was recently.
I encourage everyone in my network to take a moment today to reflect on this: What aspects of your life bring you the most joy and fulfillment? How can you incorporate more of these moments into your everyday life? Let me know in the comments!
Let's share and celebrate the diverse and personal ways we each find meaning and happiness in our lives. Your insights could inspire others to pause and appreciate the beauty of their journeys.
This holiday season, as we all enjoy our favorite movies, let's engage in a little deeper reflection. While you're watching, ponder this: How does this movie mirror real life, embody a leadership principle, or reflect the way people shape their personalities?
Every film, whether it's a heartwarming holiday classic or a thrilling adventure, has layers of meaning and insight. Perhaps there's a character whose journey parallels a leadership challenge, or maybe the storyline offers a unique perspective on personal growth and development.
As you watch, ask yourself:
- What real-life situations does this movie remind me of?
- Are there leadership qualities displayed that I can learn from?
- How do the characters’ experiences shape their personalities?
Movies are more than just entertainment; they're a reflection of our lives, challenges, and growth. So, grab your popcorn, settle in, and let's find inspiration and insights in our favorite holiday films!
Recently, I had the privilege of presenting and facilitating a session with the Gift of Hope Organ and Tissue Donor Network in Itasca, IL. What an incredible experience!
This organization's mission is truly life-changing. They transform the sorrow of loss into a beacon of hope by facilitating vital organ and tissue donations to those in need. Their dedication and compassion in providing a second chance at life to many is nothing short of awe-inspiring.
As I left, the sky above mirrored the beauty of their mission - a brilliant display, much like their welcoming spirit. I'm honored to have worked with such a mission-driven group, making a profound difference in so many lives.
Recently, while out driving, I came across some amusing sights that sparked a thought: What if we brought more playfulness into our professional and personal lives?
Imagine the impact of infusing a playful spirit at work, with our families, and even in how we treat ourselves. Playfulness isn't just about humor; it's about approaching life with a lighter heart, a willingness to laugh, and an openness to the unexpected joys around us.
Let's embrace a bit more playfulness in our daily routines. It could be the key to not only brighter days but also more creative and fulfilling experiences in all aspects of our lives. Watch this video to learn more and let me know what you think!
Yesterday, a priest friend shared with me a heartwarming anecdote from his recent experience. After guiding a group of fourth graders through a tour of a grand, historic cathedral, he asked them to reflect on what they found most memorable from the 45-minute journey.
To his surprise, one young boy singled out the "EXIT" sign as his standout memory. Initially thinking the boy was being cheeky, the priest curiously inquired, "And why the EXIT sign?" The boy's response was unexpectedly profound. He said, "It seems to me that we're only in this place for a short while, but the truly significant part is what we do when we 'exit'." His insightful comment beautifully captured the essence of life's transient nature and the lasting impact of our actions.
This Thanksgiving I am most thankful for those of you who have made an impact on me, as well as those who have actually exited from your place of worship, your home, or your LinkedIn Feed, in order to be present to me and mine.
Happy happy Thanksgiving to you all!
As coaches, mentors, or leaders, one of our key roles is to unlock the potential in others. The right questions can be powerful tools in this process. Here are three impactful questions that can help get to the core of what someone truly needs from us:
1️⃣ "What’s THE real challenge for you now?"
This question cuts through the noise and helps focus on the immediate, primary issue at hand.
2️⃣ "And what else?"
This prompts deeper reflection, encouraging a broader exploration of challenges and perspectives.
3️⃣ "What do you want?"
A simple yet profound question that drives clarity of purpose and goals.
By asking these questions, we can more accurately pinpoint the heart of the matter, facilitating more effective and meaningful support.
Try incorporating these into your next coaching or mentoring session and see how they transform the conversation.
Ever thought of capturing the magic of your team's ideas during meetings? Start jotting down those brilliant quotes and affirmations your team members share.
Imagine the impact of sending out a quick recap within an hour of the meeting, highlighting these golden moments. It's a small gesture that makes each person feel seen and valued - after all, hearing our names spoken and seeing them in print is always special.
Yes, crafting this memo takes a bit of time, but the investment in recognizing and celebrating your team's contributions is invaluable. It's not just a recap; it's a morale booster and a testament to your leadership. Give it a try and watch the positive vibes grow!
Be mindful of the words people choose and how they use them. Each word carries weight and meaning—crafted by the user. This week, make a point of really listening to someone’s chosen words. And for yourself, speak thoughtfully, write with intention, and observe the impact your words have.