Bob Powers, one of my late professors from what is now Adler University, once advised us aspiring counselors to play the “dumb nut” to encourage deeper thinking in others. Reflecting on this advice many years later, I realize how asking seemingly obvious questions can stimulate thoughtful discussions for both parties. Simple inquiries like, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “I’ve not heard it put that way before, could you elaborate?” are powerful tools.
I recall a flight to Los Angeles where a man told me about his son, who played college football on the East Coast. He said, “My wife and I attend every game so we will be there when he gets hurt!” Surprised, I asked, “You expect him to get hurt?” He explained, “Football is a very violent sport, Kevin.” Knowing little about football, I inquired further, “What position does he play?” When he said, “Quarterback,” I asked, “Is that the one who throws the ball?” He looked at me incredulously and replied, “You have no idea about the game, do you?” I admitted, “Nope!”
He then pulled out his iPhone, and for the next hour, we watched his son’s game as he taught me more about football than I ever knew. It dawned on me later that we weren’t just watching a football game; he was sharing baby pictures of his grown-up son. This experience underscored the value of asking basic questions to unlock deeper connections and understanding.