Be prepared to get voicemail

Have you ever received a voicemail that sounds like a car commercial on the radio when they have to read the fine print as fast as possible? You have to listen to it three times to get the number right, or you are left wondering which ‘Bob’ is calling you?
 
Next time you make a call, be prepared to get the person’s voicemail. Decide in advance what to say, the pace you will speak, the information vital to the return call (always give your phone number even if you know they already have it), and the purpose of your call…again in a voice as steady as if you were on NPR.
 
You don’t need to tell them the time or day, the phone will tell them that. Nor do you need to tell them the weather where you are, they don’t care. Nor do you need to imitate an airline pilot’s announcement, “This is, uhhh, your captain speaking, today we are uhhhh going to Seattle (we know that) and we uhhhh will be flying at 35,000 feet (not necessary) and uhhh given the time I won’t be making any more uhhhh announcements,” At last some good news!
 
Leave a good impression - clear, crisp, professional, paced, with just enough information. That way they will not only remember to return your call, but won’t be afraid to do so!

How we've spent our 'miles'

It’s not necessary about how many ‘miles’ we have done, but how we have spent those miles.

Go for the adverbs and verbs

Be curious about people beyond the nouns they use to describe themselves or their jobs. Go for the adverbs and the verbs…that is where the action is! Your colleague just returned from a vacation in the Arctic to watch the caribou migration (I am not kidding, she really did!). Ask an interesting question that gets to the heart of the journey for her. “Tell me what you saw in the animals’ eyes that intrigued you?” or “What was the most challenging part of the trip?” (This is a never-fail question, helping the other person go deeper). Avoid the obvious questions… “Bathrooms? Buses? Food? Masks?” and go for the motivational questions that help you be there with them.

Satisfy your audience early on

A TOP presentation tip: Dessert first! Satisfy what your audience wants early on in your presentation. Watch this video to learn more…

The way to ask for feedback

When others compliment you on a speech, presentation, or contribution obviously say “thank you” but also follow up with “What did you like especially?” You will find a host of content that you said (and didn’t say!) in their answer.

Ask your boss why they hired you. Ask your customers why they buy from you. Ask your spouse why they stay with you. Ask your children their favorite memory of the two of you. And finally look soulfully into your dog’s eyes and ask why he loves you! (Be careful attempting this with cats!) Ask and you shall find an abundance of what makes you valuable, no need to guess.

Three daily prompts you need to better yourself

The voice within is YOUR voice. This is the voice that likely talks to you all day long, “Should I or shouldn’t I? This way or that way? Respond or stay quiet? What if…? And then what…?” My goodness what we say to ourselves!
 
Consider how much of what we say is a warning, a discouragement, a critique, or a demanding parent to an innocent you. When we teach advanced executive professional speaking, the request each and every time from the class is: “What did this person do well? What is just one thing they could have done better? What is the special expertise that you noticed?” That’s all you need to get better and better with each presentation and come to think of it, with each interaction. No need for an inner judgment, no need for an inner critique, no need for perfection; simply a way to reorient yourself for the next right step.
 
You may have had a difficult conversation, a difficult meeting, a difficult day…but you can use these three little prompts to guarantee the next right step: “What did I do well? What is just one thing I could have done better? And what is the special expertise within me that I noticed?”

Informing our forward steps

Have you heard of the saying ‘3 steps forward, 2 steps back’? Maybe it sometimes feels like 3 steps forward, 3 steps back? It’s important that we understand the steps back to help inform the next steps forward. Or maybe we need smaller steps? Or maybe we need a break altogether. Learn more in this video!

Show real curiosity

Meetings and discussions are prime opportunities to make ourselves heard, but often hesitancy, embarrassment, and simple ignorance prevent us from saying anything.
 
I was recently with a group of men who were discussing a baseball game – their vast knowledge of the game was met with equal amounts of enthusiasm! My ‘sports chat’ however is limited to when I watch the Olympics every four years, and the odd demolition derby or two during the summer. I am quite literally clueless with nothing to contribute. So, I sat in silence occasionally nodding my head to show some semblance of, well, anything.
 
Being an extrovert, one can only do this for so long before breaking so I took a different approach. “You mentioned ______, the first baseman. In your opinion what makes him so special?” At that moment I was desperately hoping the guy was the first baseman! All of a sudden, an entirely new conversation began with me there too. The ‘guys’ all had an opinion… all I had to do was ask a few more questions out of real curiosity (and complete ignorance!) to be able to join in.
 
My inner expertise is curiosity, not baseball. This same skill allows me to communicate with executives, the homeless, snobs, us commoners, even with those I don’t like a whole lot! Phew, this time I made it out of a sports discussion with my self-esteem intact…and I even found out what a first baseman is supposed to do!

Thursday Thought

"I felt heard, thank you.” This was the response I had from recent interactions with two different people. I didn’t ask for the response and frankly I might have passed it off as a simple ‘thank you’. But the earnestness of their first three words took me by surprise.

It made me wonder how often I may have missed this message before. I also wondered how many times I may have missed helping someone to feel heard, with my focus instead working to ‘solve for’ or advise or placate or quiz. Those people may have felt better heard by their dog or cat!

Making someone feel heard doesn’t have to be complex - paraphrasing and empathy are powerful tools for simple communication. When was the last time you said to yourself “I felt heard”, or better yet the last time someone told you “I felt heard, thank you”?

Fearless facilitation

We value others who can help us. We do not instinctively value those who are smarter, better, especially those who say that they are! We value what we value, not who or what they want us to value. As Nido Qubein from High Point University advises: we the audience members, not the presenter, are the value interpreters.
 
This may seem like common sense but consider how some experts treat you, your teams or their audiences. Some consider themselves as full vessels, filling up the empty vessels…us!
 
This mindset of how we approach others signifies how we regard and value them. This has impact immediately. Have you ever felt talked down to by someone? How quickly did you recognize this was happening? This is called vertical communication with the superior one on the top and the inferior one on the bottom. This was a traditional teaching technique for physicians in residency where they would be grilled by the senior doctor, often then leaving them feeling less than adequate, humiliated, or worse!
 
But the successful facilitator speaks on a horizontal plane. If I can get the other to articulate what they think, feel and know, then I will be in a better position to teach, discuss, and encourage with mutual respect. To do this however, means to give up the natural urge to be on top. Instead, it means you are willing to listen, to really hear, and perhaps to learn yourself. Fearless facilitators who work on the horizontal plane learn something new every day, even about the area in which they are the expert!

Useful coaching questions for every day

“Tell me more about that…” and “How was that for you?” are useful coaching questions you can apply in every day conversations to help people to dive deeper into what they are saying, and more importantly to fully think through what they are saying.

Fearless facilitation

I really do wonder if the audience needs or wants another traditional motivational speech, either from a professional or from their boss. My experience with my primary audience (physician leaders and healthcare executives) is that they are looking for the wisdom within the audience, within themselves. I get hired to help draw this out, to provide opportunities for audience members to interact in a substantial way, and to create a safe environment for them to do so.

When we facilitate well, it can appear easy. Perhaps like watching a professional golfer take a swing. Is it really that different from my swing? Only in the outcome! What the great facilitators, colleagues and bosses do is use a set of skills allowing them to listen with a third ear, see with a fourth eye, and speak less than everyone else. They know they are not only the beauty of the swing of the club. They produce the outcome. The outcome that comes from within the others.

Trust

Let's talk about TRUST! It can take a long time to gain, but is very quick to lose.

Fearless Facilitation

On an airplane, a seatmate asked what I did for a living. I said, “I’m a professional speaker.” He said, “Motivational?” My response even surprised me!... “I hope so!” We both had a good laugh!

Think about the last time a presenter really helped open up a discussion and then made it easy for everyone to participate. For some presenters, it is much easier and seemingly safer to just keep talking. When have you felt safe in a meeting to say what you wanted to say and, perhaps more importantly, what NEEDED to be said?
 
Presenters, participants, and leaders who engage in these situations are courageous because they give up the traditional control of an audience, or of a team, or even of a conversational partner, and allow the other to talk, question, and even disagree.
 
While this may not seem like a big deal, consider the last time you knew that what you were saying was about to be challenged, disagreed with, or even met with a sarcastic or caustic remark. How did you feel? More to the point, how did you proceed?
 
Those who facilitate a conversation take the courageous route, a fearless route, not without risk of course. Opening yourself to a contribution especially in a presentation can appear risky since you really don’t know what the other will say. Focusing closely on the other person whilst putting your own ideas on the back burner can require great focus and great patience. Even when we allow others to talk in small groups, do we really always have to know what they said? Or if they were on task? Or what they said about us? It is only important that they know.
 
If you want to assert your leadership with your team, or to be seen as a leader when you present, then facilitate your presentation to make conversation easy and useful. Help others think through solutions that need to happen rather than simply restating the problems that they already know exist. This is true whether you are presenting to one hundred or just to one.
 
It can be as simple as asking your team for input. Instead of asking a question of a large group where some will talk too much and others won’t speak at all, why not ask the large group to move quickly into smaller groups of two or three and discuss the question for three to five minutes. Then, you can initiate a large group discussion. You will be guaranteed a better discussion, a more robust list of ideas, and involvement even from your most introverted team member.

Saying "Thank you"

Do you just say "thanks", or do you go one step further to say WHY you are saying thanks? Learn more in this video!

A top presentation tip

Ask yourself “IS IT NECESSARY?” when designing your next presentation. Watch this video to learn more about this top presentation tip and let me know what you think!