MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY!

A pioneer in Healthcare data, Dr. Lawrence Weed, died in 2017. He is the one who in the early 1950’s came up with the idea of coordinated medical health records…not just random doctor notes on a chart that the next doctor had to decipher. His system was called POMR (problem oriented medical record) and along with that the now common SOAP (subjective, objective, assessment and plan) method for clinical note taking and communication used universally today. He discovered this not by just thinking about it but by actually going on rounds with residents. Then he boldly decided to do something about it.

Working Today?

Who might need you to go on “rounds” with them today, if only for a few minutes? And do so in order to discover or learn something, not to check up on someone.

Family Time Today?

See tonight through the eyes of a family member, even through the eyes of your dog. What is that like? How different for you? When Dr. Frederick Leboyer wrote “Birth Without Violence”…seeing birth from the baby’s perspective vs. the convenience of the doctor’s perspective he was wildly criticized by his fellow doctors until…guess what? Until the moms and dads read his book! Then things changed! And today we have birthing rooms! His bold vision, once unique and seen as crazy, is commonplace today…because he saw things differently.

On Your Own Today?

Consider writing today…bloggers write at least 1,000 words a day, double that and you’ll be at a million for the year. My sister has written over 75 books; she writes every day as do many successful writers. Then she edits. But without the writing, there is no editing! Blog, journal, reflect or write a thank you note, a handwritten, stamped and mailed one! See what happens.

Confront a Strength

Did you ever notice a strength, (some call it a superpower!) in a colleague or friend and it is perhaps so subtle that they seem unaware of it?

One physician I know seems to always make the other person #1 when speaking with them but seems completely unaware she’s doing it. That’s a superpower. Another knows she is a good mom but has a real knack for individualizing each of her four children allowing each to grow at their rate not the rate of the eldest one. That’s a superpower. Or perhaps it is a dental hygienist who educates as she cleans not only saying what she is doing but why it is important. That’s a superpower.

The reason we call it ‘confront’ is the literal meaning of the term…”to put in front of.” This is an opportunity to speak to the other about their attention to detail, their kindness in the face of evil, their ability to engage with others, to develop others with patience, to understand another person. As Alfred Adler noted, “To truly understand another person we must see with their eyes, hear with their ears, to feel with their heart.”

What I’ve found interesting about this skill is that what is often readily obvious to us is not always seen by the other. They are blissfully unaware. And when you mention it to them, they even take a moment to try to take it all in. Often, I get a response such as, “Huh, I hadn’t noticed that.” Or “Well thanks, yes, I see that now.”

So, this week….confront with a strength!

MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY!

Remember this? Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

James Shatner as Capt. James T. Kirk every beginning of every episode each and every time! He wasn’t the first captain, but he was the one who lasted and whose voice is imprinted in our memory.

Working Today?

What is the memory you would like to imprint at work? One of my colleagues who travels away from work frequently tells her staff, “I’m out to make us all famous!” Another says, “Let’s change somebody’s world today!” still another simply says, “We are so fortunate to be able to enter this patient’s life today…and I’m fortunate to have you.” Can you imagine being on any of their teams? The repeated use is the key…and of course, sincerely so!

Family Time Today?

What’s your family motto? One of my professors had one for and with his family, “Do what love requires.” Actually in a characteristic undemocratic way, he selected the motto without input and used it for all kinds of occasions; garage cleaning, snow shoveling, etc…worked like a charm! It was his favorite until his mother-in-law needed a place to live and he scoured every senior community he could find until one of his kids reminded him of the motto! Welcome to your new home mom!

On Your Own Today?

Do you have a personal motto? Hmmmm…what would it be if you were to create one now? How often do we remind ourselves of it…especially when our decisions become difficult?

Encourage

This is the skill that Alfred Adler said cannot be overdone. It is different than praise (“You are a smart kid!”) and instead seeks to point out what has happened from your understanding (“Your effort every night prior to the exam really paid off. I was impressed with how consistent you were.”) Praise is a kind of personal judgment about how someone looks, their hair, clothing, their speech, or project. It is often easy to say, captured in a few generic words. Encouragement on the other hand requires more thought on our part as to what we liked, learned, or appreciated about the other person. This is the stuff that belongs at our earliest effective parent conferences and to our annual corporate performance appraisals. When done well we not only know what we did but we get an insight into how we did it, its impact, its staying power.

I encourage my physician clients to end every clinical encounter with a final 12 second message to each patient, “Can I tell you something I noticed about you today that impressed me?” Nobody will refuse that request!

So, this week….You don’t have to be a doctor to say, “Can I tell you something I noticed about you today that impressed me?” Try it out on flight attendants and wait staff…nobody ever says it to them and if you feel you messed up, hey, you will never see them again! Messing up is an option but rarely a reality. Remember it is about what you “liked, learned, or appreciated.”

Make a difference today!

Years ago, one of the original Saturday Night Live cast members, Nora Dunn, was in my class with the actress Olympia Dukakis and told my acting students, “Your job is not to please the audience, your job is to engage the audience…and in the engagement, that is when they will be pleased.” Today I would like to engage your thoughts and I encourage you to engage with a special other.

Working Today?

Asking questions is the key to engagement. You do not have to be the smartest person in the room, the official leader, or the main presenter: you simply have to use your own curiosity to ask a good question. It is in the considering and in the answering that we engage and even educate ourselves and them.

Family Time Today?

Ever tell your children why you named them the names they have? Who they are named for, what was going through your mind as you named them, what history is involved? And what your name means too. I was part of a group of business executives who were asked this question and the discussion went well beyond the ‘ice breaker’ it was originally intended to accomplish.

On Your Own Today?

Use names today especially with fast food clerks, hotel people, and signing off of a phone call. One of my children who is well into his 30’s always ends our phone talks with either “love you dad” or “good-bye dad”…the ‘dad’ is always a part of the farewell. I’ve been trying this lately with whomever I am on the phone with and it adds a nice personal touch…especially when on the phone with someone I don't know personally such as the bank, airline, or 800 number I’m calling. Make note of the name and then use it.

MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY!

Dr. Frederick Leboyer came up with seeing delivery through a babies experience, not through the eyes and ears and convenience of the doctor or the mom or the nurse: the result was his book “Birth Without Violence” which led to our ‘birthing rooms’ that are now commonplace. He too was wildly criticized by his fellow doctors until…guess what? Until the moms and dads read his book! Then things changed! His bold vision is commonplace now also.

Working Today?

Is some ‘boldness’ needed at work today from you? Even despite any criticism you think you will get? What if you decided to be bolder than usual?

Family Time Today?

Consider rewarding boldness and forthrightness and difference with your children and your spouse today especially if you disagree with them…then watch what happens!

On Your Own Today?

What is that idea that has been noodling around in your brain for so long just wanting to get out in some form?

MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY!

Have to make a presentation today? So do I!

Working Today?

Keep your feet shoulder length apart, look at your audience, remember your nervousness is simply energy you can use for self (anxiety) or for the other (usefulness).

Family Time Today?

How will you decide to ‘present yourself’ tonight when you get home? Others are depending on your answer!

On Your Own Today?

Pay attention to how others present themselves to you today…their presence, their language, their attitude, and their demeanor…what other choices do you think they had?

MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY!

A month ago I was on a flight with a retired Basketball pro who put on his headphones and started singing his heart out with all the requisite moves in his seat. Annoyed at first I did the old reliable “Are you kidding me” side glance; secondly the “Look around for support glance” from my fellow seat mates; then thirdly I smiled to myself happy for him being happy. That worked much better.

Working Today?

· Have lunch near or with your most annoying co-worker. Maybe they're not as annoying as you first thought.

Family Time Today?

· Enjoy the annoyances of your dearest ones….just for today!

On Your Own Today?

Many years ago there was a book titled, “I’m OK-You're OK”…a psychologist friend said he wanted to write the book, “I’m not OK and You’re Not OK…but that’s OK!”

MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY!

I met a woman this summer who blogs about blogging…and makes over $1,000,000 doing it! Another specializes in blogging about succulent plants and after her first year was making over $100,000. (She is even considering farming out the cactus part since she wants to specialize!) Yet another makes a healthy living, beyond anything her previous job paid her, by teaching parents how to photograph their children. Who knew!? Consider this for yourself today!

Working Today?

What can you teach TODAY? Who can you teach it to?

Family Time Today?

What is one thing that might be fun to do that will teach too? Do you have little kids? How about cooking a little something after you go shopping for it?

On Your Own Today?

The Jesuits I teach with at Loyola University Chicago are famous for saying “The only way to learn something it to teach it.” Maybe don’t wait to learn it…reverse engineer the process…and teach it first!

Make a difference today!

Every time I am on an airplane I wait until the flight attendant has nothing to do and then I wander up to them and simply say, “Thank you for your service today…it’s a pleasure to be on your flight today.” The responses and the stories that happen after are priceless.

Working Today?

Someone once told me that the two words that you can never go wrong on nor say enough are “Thank You.” (Sometimes they are even more precious than hearing our own name!) Of course it has to be genuine, not said too quickly or impatiently, needs some strong eye contact. Who needs your “Thank You” today?

Family Time Today?

With a family member you can say “Thank You” and then add “What I appreciate most about you is….” Then watch what happens next!

On Your Own Today?

I’ve not done this one yet, maybe today (!)…have you thanked yourself and told yourself what you most appreciate about you lately?

Make a difference today!

There's muskrat that lives in our back yard building his/her nest…you can see the mouthful of grass stuffed in all sides…busy, busy, busy.

Are you working today?

- Someone you meet today will be ‘building their nest’ …a new home, a nest egg for the future, a new part of the nest at work and at home. Ask them about it and be as interested as you can be when they tell you about it. Then notice what you notice about them and yourself.

Spending time with family today?

- What part of your home could use some extra ‘mouthfuls of grass’! A touch here and a touch there…nothing major, just a touch.

Or on your own today?

- How is your favorite project going today? Is it giving you some satisfaction, happiness, progress in sight?

Hopefully when you reflect on these questions, they make a little difference to your day in some shape or form!

MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY!

This is a photograph of my family at our favorite dude ranch in Tucson, White Stallion Ranch. It inspired today's intentions:

Working Today?

Who needs just a bit more of your time today? Think about them right now and consider how you will be with them just a bit more today. What do they need you to say? How long do they need you to stay?

Family Time Today?

Many years ago there was a book called “The First Four Minutes” the premise of which was that the first four minutes of every encounter is the most important…a time we use to establish relationship, trust, and connection. One expert said with families it is the first eight minutes! So when you come home tonight despite all of those unanswered emails…spend the first eight minutes with everyone in your family telling each one what they meant to you as you thought about them today.

On Your Own Today?

Traveling? Vacationing? Contemplating? Cleaning out the basement today? Well how is what you are doing renewing you? Try coming up with one word that will be your focus as you board an airplane, sit on the couch, sit on a horse (!) or de-clutter. See what meaning that word gives your activity today.

Make a difference today!

No matter what you're doing today, there is a way that you can make a difference:

Working Today?
Consider sending a letter (that you personally write) to each of your employees on their employment anniversary or their Birthday noting what you appreciate about them with specifics. One of my physician attendees does this yearly…and reaps the rewards all year long.

Family Time Today?
Another physician does this and then sends the letter home to the employee’s children and spouse. Now that makes for a surprise at dinner!

On Your Own Today?
Write a letter today to those of yours at home or in college and mail it. Then notice….

Make a difference today!

Whether you are working today, with family or on your own, set yourself one of the intentions below and see what impact it makes on you and those around you.

Working Today?

What if you did a job with one of your team or employees today, just for a bit…you could even ask them to teach you their job. Then notice what just changed between you.

Family Time Today?

Cook with your spouse or kids today…no matter how much they may protest! Become the family expert on making smoothies, chopping vegetables, adding the seasoning. Just don't try to become the expert on 'supervising' like I did with Chef Genia at the Kimpton Hotels & Restaurants, Sacramento! Luckily she ended up teaching me about her job!

On Your Own Today?

A favorite memory for me was weekly (sometimes nightly!) making chocolate banana malts with my father in the blender. I’m still not sure if I liked the malt or the time better…maybe both. How about your favorite memory?

Make a difference today!

My yoga teacher always begins our class by setting an intention for the practice. Inspired, I now set myself an intention at the beginning of every day. What a difference it's made! Ask yourself one of the questions below today and see if it makes a difference to your hour, your morning, your day, your time with patients/students/clients/colleagues/the C-Suite/family, and most importantly yourself.

If you're working today:

I’ve spent some time consulting in a cath lab…they save the sexiest outfits for the consultants! I noticed that when a particular physician used their scrub as a fellow professional, the atmosphere of the patient care changed. The scrub, the nurse, the rad tech, were no longer observers, they were collaborators. Who can you ask for what they notice today as you work with your team? Then notice what is different.

If you're spending time with family today:

Ever take a vacation with your kids to a place where they didn’t want to go? Yikes! What if planning involved them early and often, not just days or weeks before the trip, but an ongoing discussion, researching, collaborating. This even works for a trip to grandma’s…what else is near her home that we have not yet discovered?

If you're on your own today:

Many years ago as the self-help industry of books was just beginning, there was a book called “How To Be Your Own Best Friend”. If you were your best friend, what would your appreciate about yourself?

Today isn’t just the first day of the rest of your life: Today is THE day of your life. You are in my intentions today.