Years ago, one of the original Saturday Night Live cast members, Nora Dunn, was in my class with the actress Olympia Dukakis and told my acting students, “Your job is not to please the audience, your job is to engage the audience…and in the engagement, that is when they will be pleased.” Today I would like to engage your thoughts and I encourage you to engage with a special other.

Working Today?

Asking questions is the key to engagement. You do not have to be the smartest person in the room, the official leader, or the main presenter: you simply have to use your own curiosity to ask a good question. It is in the considering and in the answering that we engage and even educate ourselves and them.

Family Time Today?

Ever tell your children why you named them the names they have? Who they are named for, what was going through your mind as you named them, what history is involved? And what your name means too. I was part of a group of business executives who were asked this question and the discussion went well beyond the ‘ice breaker’ it was originally intended to accomplish.

On Your Own Today?

Use names today especially with fast food clerks, hotel people, and signing off of a phone call. One of my children who is well into his 30’s always ends our phone talks with either “love you dad” or “good-bye dad”…the ‘dad’ is always a part of the farewell. I’ve been trying this lately with whomever I am on the phone with and it adds a nice personal touch…especially when on the phone with someone I don't know personally such as the bank, airline, or 800 number I’m calling. Make note of the name and then use it.