Unlock the power of conversation with just three magic words: "And what else?" Try it out and watch how your discussions become richer and more meaningful. Watch this video to learn more!
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Thought Leadership
Sarcasm! From the Greek word literally translated: “To tear the flesh like dogs!” Our inner translation when we are sarcastic: “Funny insightful me!” The recipient’s inner experience: “Ouch!”
Sarcasm is common banter in our culture. Perhaps it is a kind of jousting while ostensibly jesting. But consider what it is like to be the target of the sarcasm. That might not be as welcomed. Equivalent to being in a courtroom: would you rather be the one asking the questions or the one in the witness box having to answer them? We can replace sarcasm with encouragement…or even kindness!
I recently asked a friend when she is retiring. Her response: “I’m not retiring Kevin, I'm repurposing.’ And indeed, she is! It got me thinking about how we don’t have to wait to retire in order to repurpose. We can do it now!
How can we provide more to someone or some meeting or some initiative? Why do we always sit in the same place in our in-person meetings and what would happen if we didn’t? What if we followed up with an encouraging email to someone on the team who was brave today? Could we construct a new 90-day plan for ourselves that is at least a little more radically different than the previous one? And what new word do I want to give to a challenging person I lead who is too aggressive, impatient, always angry? Might they be determined? Focused? Fearful? If I did see them this way, how would I change how I understand them and deal with them?
It's an interesting idea right!? In the words of Shakespeare “What’s in a name?”
Let's talk about my new favorite term: "Light touch". It's really helpful in many situations. Watch this video to learn more...
Nido Qubein, President of High Point University, taught me the value of distinction. He made us think: do we want to be successful or significant? Creative or innovative? Focus on a ‘to do’ list or a ‘to be’ list?
I studied with him for over a decade (and about a decade ago!) and I still remember this pairing of words and concepts to help clarify intention, goals, and a deeper understanding of the human spirit. For example, ask yourself “Is this person angry or fearful?” or “Is this person hopeless or discouraged?” The wisdom I learned from him was not about binary thinking but about seeing the other side.
By being the 'word crafter' at your meetings you can help to both broaden and focus the discussion. Can you think of a time when this might have been useful for you?
What do you do well? What are you really, really good at? Go beyond your resume or curriculum vitae. Even go beyond your surgical skills, or your ability with finance or law. Ask yourself the question “What would they say at my funeral?”
One of my grammar school classmates just died and he did such a remarkable thing: he wrote his own obituary! “If you are reading this then what I said a lot ‘With birth, comes death, everything in between is the adventure’ must apply to me at this moment. An obituary is usually dry and stuffy, but my adventure in life was very much the opposite of the norm. I would like to share some things with you…” He went on to detail quite a life of service and adventure and gratefulness. It ended with “I did it my way, as always.” He told us what he did and what he did well…and who he was. Reading the many entries to the ‘tribute wall’ posted by the funeral home was just as remarkable, with detailed thoughts, experiences and emotions that this man engendered in others. A significant life for sure.
Reflect on this and think about your significance instead of only your material success.
It’s not necessary about how many ‘miles’ we have done, but how we have spent those miles.
The voice within is YOUR voice. This is the voice that likely talks to you all day long, “Should I or shouldn’t I? This way or that way? Respond or stay quiet? What if…? And then what…?” My goodness what we say to ourselves!
Consider how much of what we say is a warning, a discouragement, a critique, or a demanding parent to an innocent you. When we teach advanced executive professional speaking, the request each and every time from the class is: “What did this person do well? What is just one thing they could have done better? What is the special expertise that you noticed?” That’s all you need to get better and better with each presentation and come to think of it, with each interaction. No need for an inner judgment, no need for an inner critique, no need for perfection; simply a way to reorient yourself for the next right step.
You may have had a difficult conversation, a difficult meeting, a difficult day…but you can use these three little prompts to guarantee the next right step: “What did I do well? What is just one thing I could have done better? And what is the special expertise within me that I noticed?”
Have you heard of the saying ‘3 steps forward, 2 steps back’? Maybe it sometimes feels like 3 steps forward, 3 steps back? It’s important that we understand the steps back to help inform the next steps forward. Or maybe we need smaller steps? Or maybe we need a break altogether. Learn more in this video!
How can we benefit from a FORMAT in meetings and presentations? It worked for the old Western shows (does anybody else LOVE them?), and it can work for you too! Watch this video to learn more...
Let's talk about EMOTIONS. Paul R. Rasmussen, Ph.D., an Adlerian Psychologist, talks about validating and compelling emotions rather than positive and negative emotions. This is really helpful to apply day-to-day to help us find the JOY again in what we do. Watch this video to learn more.
Capture the little things! This will help provide more meaning for you and those you are talking with. Learn more in this video - it will only take 2 minutes out of your day!
Today, take moment to think about what do you want to be remembered for in your presentation, or your next meeting, or a conversation with your boss. Take a moment longer to watch this video where I explain more!
Today, think about what you can do differently to what you've done before and different to everybody else, and how that might help you THINK differently.
Give encouragement! With your children, spouse, colleagues, even your boss. Say what you liked, what you learned and what you appreciated. It’s a real skill but helps to promote growth, and create a culture of appreciation.
When was the last time someone offended you? And how did you react? It's important to take a step back and think what might be going on with the other person. Don't just react, make a considered response. Learn more in this video.
When giving presentations, doing podcasts, even leaving a voice mail, think about the message you want to convey. Really think about the person it’s going to. The results are interesting. Watch this video to learn more and let me know what you think!
Everyone has a To Do list, but how about a To Be list? Who are you going to BE today? This is the list that defines your success and your significance. Take two minutes out of your day to learn more in this video.
Sometimes we can easily get discouraged. If you end up taking 3 steps forward, but 2 steps back, remember to learn from your mistakes to inform your next step! Watch this video to learn more!
Something to think about this year - If you routinely give your team members gifts try something very different…give gifts to your team member's children! Not the same thing, give it some thought, you might even interview your team individually and see what each child is interested in. Not a specific gift the parent wants but “your” gift to them based on what you get from the interview. A book for a fourth grader? Or a cookbook! Clay for a middle schooler. What interests are there? Not just a gift but a present that understands your presence to their parents in this present moment.