The famous psychiatrist Alfred Adler proposed a life lived on the horizontal plane. In his time, the early 1900s, life was lived on the vertical plane, some people are ‘up’ and some are ‘down’…this was his notion of superiority and inferiority…and no one likes to be inferior for long! (The power in a vertical relationship is actually the person on the bottom…they can leave!) When it comes to managers and teams, consider acting ‘as if’ you have a horizontal relationship.
Consider your situation. You may have a great manager or one who is going to help you find your next job! Managers are “managed” by someone over them and their performance and bonus is dependent on how their managers feel about their work with their team.
Often when we receive feedback, it takes many forms, but is usually aimed at what we need to do more of, pushing us to that bottom role of the vertical relationship, even if only in our mind’s eye.
When you are on the receiving end of feedback, consider discussing with your manager how your goals fit into the manager’s goals or team’s goals… And more so how it fits into your boss’ boss’ goals.
Gaining this perspective may help you translate your work into action that makes more sense, might be easier to achieve, may lessen any conflictual feelings spoken or unspoken, and (from your manager’s point of view) may be seen as a partnership going forward.
Getting the answers to “why” will provide further clarity on your impact and how the insights you gain can move the company’s/department’s mission forward. Act ‘as if’ you are an equal and you’re your ‘feedback’ into the context of your manager’s.
Adler said, “To truly understand another person, we must see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and feel with their heart.”