Bob Powers, one of my now deceased professors from the Adler University in Chicago recommended to us aspiring counselors to play the “dumb nut” to get others to think more deeply.
As I reflect on this advice many years later, I notice that when others ask the obvious question it stimulates thinking on both parties. “Can you tell me more about that?” or “I’ve not heard it put that way before, tell me more about it.”
On a Los Angeles bound plane one day a man was telling me about his son who played on an east coast college football team. “My wife and I attend every game so we will be there when he gets hurt!” I asked, “You expect him to get hurt?” He replied, “Football is a very violent sport, Kevin.” I went on to ask what position he played knowing very, very little about football. “Quarterback” he said. Without thinking about my professor’s advice but perhaps following it I asked, “Is that they one who throws the ball?” He looked at me incredulously and said, “You have no idea about the game do you?” My response was “Nope!” He pulled out his iPhone and together for the next hour we watched his son’s game as he taught me more than I ever had known about the sport. It occurred to me later we were not watching a football game…he was showing me baby pictures…his baby all grown up!