We help others the most when our focus is on them, and ironically when we focus clearly on others, this is when we get what we want from our interaction with them. We cannot focus on them in order for us to ‘get’; we only ‘get’ when our focus is on them for them to ‘get’. This is an important distinction—and a distinction that is oh so rarely experienced.
It is easy and natural to only be concerned about ourselves. It is therefore a remarkable event for an audience when our focus is on them exclusively. Can you remember the last time this happened to you at work? Or at home? Or anywhere? Facebook seems very focused on opinions as facts, self (and selfies!) instead of others, and too few questions, inquiries, and curiosities.
In person (and maybe on your Facebook posts) you can focus closely with attentiveness, paraphrasing, questions, and with curious interest. So, the next time you are called upon to facilitate a meeting prepare by thinking not of what you will do or say but on what needs to be talked about among the group. Then help them get there with simple questions, increasing curiosity, small group interaction, full participation, and time.