Help them figure out their unarticulated question

I regularly see posts about 'staying curious' on social media. How often do you find that others are curious about you, or do they instead seem to want you to be curious about them? So let's be curious and help them figure out their unarticulated question.

I wonder if so many of us look to the presenter, homilist, teacher, boss, meeting planner for what we ought find within ourselves. That special question that we could articulate, and even let them know what we want from them instead of wishing and hoping. I write to my priest when his words have really moved me. I think he needs to hear it because Catholics tend to thank him or say nice things about his homilies, but I want him to know WHAT he said that moved me and why. I need to articulate first for myself and secondly for him.

Same with my mentors and teachers and customers and clients…I want to articulate for them what they may not know about themselves…what they did or said that moved me. I do it first for me. Then for them. How about you?

Move WITH and FOR the audience

Let's talk more about the “Unarticulated Question” …those questions our audience members or our prospects have that they don’t ask us! Recently, Richard Rohr quoted the psychiatrist Carl Jung (1875-1961) - one of the founders of modern psychology. Rohr mentioned that Jung believed that much of our suffering comes from our inability to accept “legitimate suffering” simply because we are human! Rudolf Dreikurs recommended that we have “The Courage to be Imperfect”…because we are! Both psychiatrists thought the idea of perfection was a folly…a misguided approach to life. Being ‘useful’ was far more important than being perfect.

How does this coincide with the “Unarticulated Question”? Well, it seems to me that presenters, speakers, and homilists often strive for the 'perfect something'. A turn of the phrase, a PowerPoint that would Wow, an audience response that is just right, even a good, sustained laughter or applause.

In fact, it is the facilitators and the improvs among us that know that the audience is the brilliant piece, not us. This is why stories told early and concisely followed with small group discussion works so much better than ‘giving a great talk’ or “Let’s review the agenda I prepared”.

Rohr, Jung, and Dreikurs remind us of our common humanity and the more we move WITH and FOR the audience and our teams, the more ‘useful’ we will be. What do you think?

And What Else?

Continuing with this series about the “Unarticulated Question” …those questions our audience members or our prospects have but don’t actually ask!

Last week I talked about the first coaching question I learned from the Center for Executive Coaching - “What would make our time great for you today?” - and how, rightly phrased, it gets to the heart of the issue immediately. The follow up to that question I learned from the book “The Advice Trap” by Michael Bungay Stanier. He called it the “AWE” question.

AWE stands for “And What Else?” Another huge “Duh” for me! Ask that question and guess what…people go deeper. Ask again and deeper they go. I’ve used it to the 5th repetition and have realised it is a terrific opener that gets to what is ‘really’ important. And that all happens without giving any advice!

The author has helped convince me that nobody really needs my advice although many smile, take notes, or thank me. When they are guided with simple questions, they get to go inside themselves just a bit more to discover their OWN brilliance.

In fact, this is a question we can even ask ourselves! Now that is brilliant! What do you think?

What would make our time great for you today?

Let's talk a bit more about the “Unarticulated Question” …those questions our audience members or our prospects have that they don’t tell us!

In my coach training with the Center for Executive Coaching I was impressed with a huge “Duh” I had. The first question they taught us was “What would make our time great for you today?” At first, I thought it a bit corny until during practice sessions I was the receiver (the one being coached) and had to respond to that critical first question.

It helped me focus clearly on “What do I actually want during this next 20 minutes?” Somehow it was different from “What do you want to talk about today?” or “How’s it going?” The “make our time great for you today” made me focus very clearly on this time, this place, this coach, this issue. In fact, I was able to “articulate” THE thing that I needed help with right now.

And the next question was even more helpful…more on that next Thursday.

Have you asked or answered “What would make our time great for you today?” How did you find it? Let me know in the comments

Show up and ask

This series is about the “Unarticulated Question” - the concerns the all audience members or meeting attendees have but don't always tell the presenter about.

In Pharma, Medical Science Liaisons (also called Regional Medical Liaisons) are physicians, pharmacists, and those with advanced scientific degrees working on the medical side of the business. Their job is to call physicians and help explain the science behind the drug their company makes, to answer questions, and to listen to the physician’s concerns. This is a different role than the sales professionals (who are on the commercial side of the business). What I’m going to address can apply to both.

Picture yourself in front of a busy physician who is giving you 5-15 minutes of time, to explain the benefits of the drug you represent. The old model was called “show up and throw up” meaning the rep starts talking and hopefully something will stick! But what if the physician is coming with an “Unarticulated Question” or specific concern and is waiting for the rep to get to it? Flip the old model. Try “show up and ask” instead. Ask what they want to know, ask about a specific patient that troubles them, ask about a vexing issue. Take the time to probe, ask and empathize, even though you have great material to “throw” at them. In my experience physicians are people like you and I…start by asking instead of telling.

Of course this applies to all lines of work; sales, service, wait staff to name a few. Some of you already know my rant about wait staff that begins the evening recommending ‘my favorite’ steak with me listening with vegan ears. One question would do it…one unwanted recommendation and we are off to a poor start.

What do you think about this "show up and ask" approach?

Actions to consider

Jay Colker's new book, 'Aligned Leadership', has given me a brilliant idea for improving workplace communication! At the end of each chapter, the book has a section titled 'Actions to Consider', which I found incredibly useful. It's a simple yet effective way to transform thoughts and ideas into actionable steps.

So here's a tip I'm excited to share: Next time you're sending out an email to your team, try including an 'Actions to Consider' section. This could be the game-changer in taking discussions from mere ideas to impactful actions. It's a great way to ensure clarity and encourage proactive steps among your team members.

Imagine the boost in productivity and understanding when each communication clearly outlines the next steps! It's all about turning great ideas into tangible results.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this approach. Have you tried something similar? How do you ensure your communications lead to action? Let's discuss below!

Introducing the "Unarticulated Question"

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I am kicking off 2024 with a series of Thursday LinkedIn posts on some short thoughts about what I'm calling the "Unarticulated Question." These are the concerns our audience members or our prospects have—questions that are critical to them, yet they don't actually come out and tell us!

For example, have you ever sat through a meeting or presentation thinking, "When is this person going to talk about ____?" This kind of thinking and questioning can dominate our involvement (or non-involvement) in what could otherwise be a great experience. On the other hand, imagine how you would feel if you knew the presenter had YOUR question in mind. We, the audience, would be reassured that they would address our question with the answer we are seeking.

So, consider this for your next presentation: As the leader, frame the topic and then immediately (within the first 5 minutes) put the audience into small groups of three. Ask them what question they had for this meeting. This lets them articulate their question, and it only takes 3-5 minutes, which you can then debrief with them using a paper chart…which becomes your new agenda!

When’s the last time a presenter did that for you? Have you ever tried it yourself?