Small Things That Encourage

"You taught me something today."
"I learned an important lesson from you today."
"I was impressed when you said ______."
"I noticed ______ about you today."
"Thank you for modeling ______ for me today."
These are small things that encourage.

I was lost arriving at LAX recently, assuming it would be the same airport I remembered from five years ago. Not so much. I asked a transportation aide, who was pushing a wheelchair passenger, how to get to baggage claim. "Follow us," she said.

As we wove through elevators, corridors, and a few long stretches, we engaged in light conversation. As we approached the destination, I turned to her and pressed a $20 into her hand and said, “You taught me something today about not only giving directions but taking the time to lead the way. Thank you.”

She tried to return it, but I would have none of that. The three of us parted ways, and I resolved to be more like her.

We probably don’t always need ‘feedback’ that threatens or corrects as much as we need to know how we may have helped someone grow.

Be Present and Have a Presence

Starting a new role, whether you're early in your career or bringing years of experience, is an opportunity to shape how others see you. Curiosity, thoughtful questions, and active participation can help you establish credibility and build connections from day one.

In this short video, I share practical advice on how to make a strong impression, contribute with confidence, and take control of your professional brand in a new organization.

🎥 Watch the video to learn how small, intentional actions can make a lasting impact.

Curiosity Before Judgment

We've all been there. Someone at work rubs us the wrong way. Maybe it's a colleague, a team member, or even our boss.

When that happens, it's easy to turn inward—to feel resentment, disengage, or even start polishing our resume. But what if there was a different approach?

What if, instead of focusing on why we don't connect with someone, we became genuinely curious about them? Where did they learn their values? What experiences shaped their perspective? What are they trying to accomplish?

Alfred Adler famously encouraged us to "see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and feel with their heart." When we do that, understanding begins to replace assumptions, and relationships have a chance to grow.

In this short video, I share why curiosity is often the first step toward stronger professional relationships and better leadership.

Watch the full video to learn how being genuinely interested in others can transform the way you connect, communicate, and collaborate.

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

Dr. Hans H. Moosa, MD, handed me his business card many years ago. On the front was a picture of Spider-Man; on the back, his contact information.

As he gave it to me, he said, "Kevin, with great power comes great responsibility."

I still have that card, and I carry it with me every day. It's a great reminder of him and the message he lived by.

If you were designing a new business card today, what would you put on it that someone would want to keep for years?

You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be helpful.

One of my favorite Chief Medical Officers held a 3-hour meeting every Monday with his direct reports. He asked each person to bring just a 100-word summary of where they were stuck and what help they needed.

He compared leadership to a car stuck in a ditch:

It doesn't matter how the car got there. One person can drive, but it takes 3 or 4 people behind it to help push it out and get it moving again. I thought that was a genius way to run a meeting.

🎥 In this short video, I share why the best leaders are the kind of people that get behind that car and give it a push. 

The CEO Nobody Knows

I was recently in a hospital where a new CEO had just been appointed. I asked a nurse manager what she thought of the new leader.

"Don't know. She's MIA. Mostly in her office. Wasn't even at the volunteer luncheon. She must have better things to do."

It made me wonder: how does that feedback ever reach the CEO?

How does someone communicate the importance of rounding, getting out of the office, meeting people, and becoming a familiar face throughout the organization?

Then again, maybe she's operating under a different mandate from those who hired her: stabilize the finances, improve margins, address a union initiative, make difficult staffing decisions. Those priorities can certainly keep a leader behind a desk.

Or perhaps those goals are best accomplished by building relationships with the people on the front lines.

When you lead a team, how much of your week is spent in your office, and how much is spent with the people who can help strengthen the culture, stabilize performance, and advance the mission?

The role of a leader isn't just to be visible. It's to be known.

Engagement Beats Performance

Years ago, when I was teaching actors at Columbia College, Nora Dunn (SNL) sat with my students on the floor and shared an important lesson:

"Your job is not to please the audience. Your job is to engage the audience. In the engagement is where they will be pleased."

The same is true in leadership. We engage people by focusing outward: showing up early, shaking hands, asking questions, learning what matters to others, and genuinely caring about their experience. That's where connection happens.

🎥 In this short video, I share why engagement is one of the keys to being a successful leader.

See one. Do one. Teach one.

We hear this a lot in medicine, but it also applies to leadership.

If you want to truly learn something, teach it. In this short video, I share a simple way to accelerate your growth by leaning into that mindset.

Take a minute to watch the video below:

Signature Stories

Want presentations with your staff to be engaging, even when the content feels dry? In this video, you’ll discover how to bring natural, authentic humor into your meetings without forcing jokes or trying to be a comedian. Learn why the best humor often come from your audience, how small moments can turn into connection, and how personal stories can change the way people engage with you.

If you’ve ever wondered how to loosen up a room, create true interaction, and make your message stick, this is for you.

Watch the video to see how to turn everyday moments into memorable, engaging presentations.

The Essence of an Effective Story

We’ve all heard that storytelling matters in leadership. But here’s what most people get wrong…

They choose stories that are interesting to them, but not to the audience.

I see it all the time. Leaders default to sports analogies because they enjoy them… while half the room is quietly disengaging.

Great storytelling is about being relatable and the most effective stories tend to be the simplest ones about real people.

In this short video, I discuss how you can find the essence of an effective story.

When Opposites Aren’t Opposed

Two things can be true at the same time, even when they seem like opposites. I once heard this from a policy expert when a reporter was trying to pin him down on a political issue. How much of our lives are framed as “this or that,” “either/or,” “yes or no,” or “right and wrong”? These polar opposites may not need to be so rigid. Perhaps two things can exist together. Maybe we can talk with our neighbors without falling into a “me versus them” mindset. Perhaps we can both exist together—not in spite of holding different beliefs, but simply because we can.

What about you—are there two things that can be true at the same time, even though at first blush they seem to be opposites? Alfred Adler suggested that opposites don’t attract—complementaries do. It’s similar to folding your hands together: each finger may appear opposite, yet it complements the others, creating strength.

Support or Solutions?

Two highly driven surgeons I know, both on their second marriage, made a simple agreement before difficult conversations:

They ask each other one question first: “Do you want support, or do you want solutions?”

In this short video, I connect this idea to leadership: When we’re intentional about our approach, in conversations or meetings, we create space for both support and problem-solving. It’s how teams become a community working together.

Take a minute to watch and reflect: What’s your intention when you walk into your next meeting?

Precise Opposite

At a recent psychology conference, I came across a technique from Wes Wingett and Calvin Armerding that can be used in counseling and coaching. While it’s typically for clients, I thought it might work for us as well, even without a therapist or coach.

It goes like this: let’s say I’m experiencing one of the negative emotions (sometimes called “compelling” emotions, since we feel compelled to do something about them). I’m angry, and I go through my day feeling that anger and wishing I weren’t. At that point, I ask myself this question: What is the precise opposite of “angry,” without using the word “angry”?

I might respond, “I’m at peace on this walk,” or “I helped resolve the situation with a bit of courage on my part,” or “I’m back in control of myself without being controlling,” and so on.

What this technique does is create a line from a “felt minus position” to a “perceived plus position.” The question then becomes focused on movement: how will I find peace, resolution, or control? Instead of being stuck in the anger, I’m moving forward toward a better place. It gives me something to do that aligns with that forward movement—which seems a lot better than being angry all day.

Thank You Notes Can Document

At a recent medical meeting, an accepted approach was discussed for addressing difficult physician behavior—yelling, disrespect toward nurses, mistakes, or more serious concerns requiring “the talk.”

Often called a “coffee cup conversation,” it’s an informal, physician-to-physician discussion. For leaders, it’s a way to tee up the issue, hear the other side, express concern, and work toward a corrective path forward. It’s not the ethics committee, just a conversation over coffee. And it’s not confined to medicine alone; it’s a good way to open ongoing dialogue.

At the meeting, an attorney suggested documenting these conversations so that, if behavior continues, a record exists.

But how do you document a conversation over coffee?

His answer: with a thank you note.

Brilliant.

In it, you thank the person for showing up, for discussing key issues (____, ____, ____), and for agreeing on a way forward. Simple. Clear.

And now you have a record—firm, friendly, and available if needed for the next coffee…or the next ethics meeting.

Start Meetings Better: One Small Change That Works

Most meetings start with an agenda.

But most people show up wondering: What do I get out of this?

In this short reel, I share a simple shift that can completely change the dynamic of your meetings. Watch to learn how one small change can make your meetings more meaningful and effective.

Is it true that...?

I primarily teach physician leaders what they may not have learned in medical school—leadership, team dynamics, and executive presence.

When I meet them, I usually start by asking about their specialty and how they chose that path. When I meet a pediatrician, I ask a question I already know the answer to: “Is it true that children are not just little adults?”

With a 100% response rate, they all say yes, and then they go on to explain why, sharing stories about their patients, their families, and their experiences. Sometimes, they’ll even point out that the “patient” is actually the parent.

I do the same with nurses, whether active or retired: “Is it true that once a nurse, always a nurse?” The stories flow immediately.

I recently spoke with travel insurance underwriters. While I’m no expert in their field, all I had to ask was: “Did you go to school to become an underwriter?” Most of them laughed, and the stories began.

Be curious. Stay curious. Even when you think you know the answer, you don’t know the story.

That mindset is at the heart of my work. I teach physician and nurse leaders the things medical training often overlooks: executive presence, communicating with senior leaders, and leading teams made up of their former peers.

The Quiet Mission That Matters

In this short video, I reflect on comparison, purpose, and the quiet impact we often overlook, like the adjunct professor who shapes lives without tenure. We all carry hopes that may never materialize, and others that surprise us. Both truths can coexist. Let’s honor the mission that’s uniquely ours.

Right?

Right? Have you heard this lately? Many of us reactively finish our sentences with “right”? Maybe we like to be agreed with! I wonder how these things come about. Years ago the word was ‘awesome’ that seemed to be used for any experience, relationship, or meeting….right? When you are presenting this can become a repeated word that the audience hears, and you don’t. This is the value of taping your presentations, so you can hear what they are hearing. And what may be driving them to distraction, distracted from your core message. If you do that it would really be awesome! Right?

I teach team members how to productively interact with leaders who are significantly older or younger than they, not the typical ‘generational’ stereotyping method but one built on the skills of successful human relationships.

Don't Miss Your Opportunity to Be Present

Ever walk past an exhibit table where the only thing moving is a scrolling phone screen?

I have. More times than I can count. And every time, I think the same thing: what a missed opportunity.

In this video, I share a simple shift that can change how people experience you at an event. How to be present, make the first move, know how to introduce yourself in a way that’s clear and memorable.

👇 Watch the video and let me know: what’s one small change you’ve made that made a big difference?

Why What and Who

A lot has been said about the “why” these days. Simon Sinek’s famous presentation and book, "Begin with Why", has received many mentions, and rightly so. It has been a great help to many of us and has made me think about the why’s cousins: what and who.

Maybe start with who. Who is your boss, customer, partner, or spouse? Who are they really? As Humphrey Bogart says to Ilsa in Casablanca while in Paris, “Who are you really? And where were you before? What did you do and what did you think?” She coyly demurs, and he concludes with the famous line, “Here’s looking at you, kid.”

That’s the movies, but how about you and your boss? Do you know where she came from? Where she really came from? Not just her last company, but her story. Do you know what medical school was like for her? Or what growing up on a farm was like? Or what moment brought her here?

In my experience, regardless of who this person is now before me, a few genuine questions can reveal a great deal, especially if you feel they are distant, not so nice, demanding, etc.

One surgeon said, “Our family is Asian. Success and perfection mean everything to us. I find it hard to lead a team without being like my parents. Excuses never existed in my family.”

Who do you need to know better?

And then comes the what. What is important to them? What does their boss want from them? What pressures are they under? What do I need to know that I don’t know, but should know?

I teach physician leaders what they were not taught in medical school: executive presence, presenting to executives, and leading teams of their former peers.