Last week a member of a meeting mentioned the following about a physician that was not present, “He’s a really good surgeon, but…” Immediately a nurse spoke up with, “If you have to put a ‘but’ after his name…he’s not that good!” Awkward silence began!
Do you know some terrific people who have those three silent letters, ‘but’… after their name? True or not, deserved or not, even perfectly descriptive or not, that ‘but’ after their name not only hurts them, it hurts you: how you interact with them, speak about them, and judge them. Our presence is fully dependent on how we enhance the other’s presence.
If instead we add three letters, ‘AND’, after their name then the fullness of the life of the person, despite their flaws, enriches us with full presence.
Listen to how the word ‘but’ is used with people and ideas at meetings and how disconnective it can be. Do you have any examples you can share?