Be Present and Have Presence

When my colleague, Char Wenc taught at Loyola University Chicago she always advised her students to “Be Present and Have Presence” and ensured that they knew those were two very different things.
 
“Were you at the meeting last week?”
“I was sitting right next to you!”
“Well, you didn’t say anything!”
 
Prepare for presence. YOUR presence. What are the three things you want to make sure you say in the meeting regardless of the discussion? What is the essential message of the meeting content that you want others to know? What questions do you need to ask in order to help move things forward? This is particularly important if you are angry, hurt, or resentful…what are you not going to say?
 
Go further by helping to clarify the messages in the discussion with paraphrasing. Add in some empathy too! Wait and summarize. Let a moment of silence linger a bit, let it hang in the air. For in-person meetings, sit in a different chair each time, even next to the boss sometimes. Position yourself to see everyone else. If you are running the meeting use a circle of chairs – it cuts down on others doing their emails, enlivens active discussion, and keeps people awake. No need to be a chatterbox; just don’t be on ‘mute’ throughout.